The end of 2012 hit with a bang – but not the kind of bang I
expected. 

We were sick this week, the kids and I.  Like, “super sick.”  The little one spiked a fever so high on
Christmas night, that I was ready to drive her to the ER, until the Motrin, tepid
baths, and cool wash cloths lowered her temperature “just enough” that I knew
she was out of danger.  My older girl
followed suit the next day, and then I came down with a full blown version of
whatever they had which sent me begging my doctor for “any drug” that would
help me feel better.  I had a fever for
the second time in my adult life that I can remember,  my muscles ached, my lungs were on fire, and
any small task, such as getting up to go to the bathroom, took effort. 

I am someone who has been gifted with good health – no –
nearly perfect health – my entire life. Aside from a very slight case of scoliosis
in my lower spine and my “really bad” nearsightedness for which I wear
glasses/contact lenses, I am one of the healthiest people you will find.  Yes, I take good care of myself. I practice
yoga, I run, I eat a plant based diet, I don’t drink alcohol (very little, at
that) or eat processed sugar, I drink plenty of water and on most nights, get
enough sleep. And while I’d like to attest my good health to the aforementioned
good habits, there is more to good health than eating right and
exercising.  There’s genetics.  And there’s just plain luck.  I am one of the lucky ones.

The yogis, as well as many New Age thought leaders, such as
Louise Hay and Dr. Wayne Dyer, as well as a growing number of people in the
western medical community, like Dr. Jon Sarno, famed for his work in curing his
patient’s back problems by walking them through a program to help them own and
release their negative emotions, adhere to the philosophy that disease can be
traced to dis-ease, meaning we become physically ill when we are holding onto
destructive feelings. 

I have been a subscriber of this school of thought for
decades, but yoga teacher training brought it home for me, when we studied the
chakra system, at which time, every severe headache, sore throat, and stomach
ailment I ever had, suddenly correlated with my inability to connect with my
intuition (forehead – third eye), my difficulty in speaking up for myself (throat
– throat chakra – our “voice”), and a sense loss of personal power (stomach –
solar plexus chakra – our power center).

So, is this raging mother of a virus that I am slowly
recuperating from a sign of dis-ease? You bet. 
2012 began as a sweetheart of a year, and it’s ending with a big, “oh,
shit…” with me, the newly single mother, trying to hold it together
emotionally and financially  in one of
the most expensive states in the country while being home enough to parent my
kids. I have decisions to make. 
And while it would be easy for me to “play it safe,” and find ways to
“get by,” working my ass off to make other people rich (yes, folks, I have made
a career out of this), perhpas it’s time for me to bet on myself.        

M., A friend of mine, who I hold in the highest esteem,
posted about her year in running on Facebook last night and how through her
year, of running in the best of spirits and not so best of spirits, running
through beautiful days and dreary days, running when she wanted to run and when
she didn’t want to run, she found her fire, or her spirit, so to speak, and how
finding that fire has been transformational.

Along with the changes that summer brought for me, I lost touch
with my fire. I lost my connection to that fearless, kick butt, Fierce Diva.  My resolve for 2013 is to honor my fire every
day and hold it close, and to allow that fire to guide me to all of the
beautiful things that life has in store. 

Dear friends and readers, I wish the same for you.

Happy New Year ~ 
Namaste xo

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