The Pause

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I went seeking truth, the meaning of life, a higher
spiritual plane.

I wasn’t all that concerned with “chaturanga arms,” or
“warrior thighs” or any of the other accoutrements promised by westernized yoga
practitioners.  I needed to get down to
brass tacks.

Why are we here?  Why
am I here? And what is the purpose of all of this?

I was at a midlife crossroads.  On a treadmill for years of getting by, doing
OK, at certain times, being highly successful doing things that I did not love
to do.  Things that fed my family but did
not feed my soul. I knew myself well enough to understand that I had lived a
life that had been propelled mostly by fear but still could not figure out how
to live any differently.

I knew that yoga teacher training would change my life – and
it did.

Did I find, “the truth?” 
Not quite. Am I living on a “higher spiritual plane?” Not really.  Yet, it rattled me –and it made me question
every single thing that until that point, I had easily accepted as “reality.”

More importantly, studying yoga taught me how to pause.

Yes, pause. 

It has taught me how to pause those erratic fluctuations
that take over our thinking.  And in that
pause, I have found space to create new belief systems and identify new ways to
look at old problems.  It has taught me
how to physically pause, to stay in a yoga posture long enough to gain
awareness of my own body, from my left jaw to my little toe.  It has taught me how to pause before starting
an argument or raising a voice to my children. It has taught me how to pause
before allowing words to come out of my mouth that could be hurtful.

It has taught me to be the observer.  To watch events, or relationships as they
happen, and take in information without personalizing it.

It has taught me that sometimes, we need to pause physically
and recuperate, especially after a period of intense activity.  I took a running pause for almost twelve
months after finishing my first marathon last year.

There are times when I have needed to take pauses with
friendships.

And now, it is time for me to take a pause from my blog.

Not a long pause. Just long enough to review the past nine
months and decide where to go next.

I have some ideas for the new year that I’d like to iron
out.  There will most definitely be a
regular highlight on local non-profits (thank you Jennifer Barbour for your
constant inspiration).  Perhaps a regular
guest post spot?  Most of all, it’s time
to circle back to the blog’s original mission – 
one of love, strength, empowerment, and hope, and see how I can fortify
and expand upon that message.

I need time away to iron out some personal issues as well.
There are many things on my to-do list. There is the possibility of pursuing a
business on my own. There’s “the book” that I have talked about before on these
pages.  And now suddenly, a whisper
rumbling up from my heart to try my hand at fiction …again.  

Last week, Galit Breen wrote a stunning article about the
sweetness there is in the passions we pursue but at the same time, there is the
pain of letting go. When we choose one road, we need to mourn the possibilities
of what could have been had we chosen the other.  Galit’s words resonated with me so. It is
time for me to review the possibilities, and undoubtedly, feel the ache of
having to say goodbye to that “something” that does not make my list.

I will be back the week of December 17th for a
guest post that I was thrilled and honored to accept – and I will be back again
on a regular basis shortly after that.

Because a pause is just that.  It’s nothing more than a pause.

Love to all ~ Light to all

xo  Ilene 


Comments

The Pause — 40 Comments

  1. The pause that refreshes…
    Praying that you find peace and the next part of your path! Will miss you here but glad you are taking care of you. Really looking forward to your guest post. Will you be sending a note to let us all know where you’ll be? <3 xo. 🙂

  2. I’m glad you’re not going far.
    I love yoga for this reason, too. For the pause, the listening that happens in the in-between. Namaste, friend. I’ll look forward to your return.

  3. Oh my gosh, I will miss you during your “pause”, but I can relate. Over the last few months I’ve been taking some time to regroup and refocus. I’ve been blogging here are there, but didn’t have focus. After a short break, and a few “filler” posts I think I finally have some direction. I wish you the best and can’t wait until your return!

  4. Of course you understand the pause!
    For some reason, I feel like I need a few weeks to be quiet and listen versus write, write, write. It will be good for me and in the long run, be good for the blog. Thank you so much for your kind words! oh, and PS – the granola has shipped! xo

  5. I think the time away is good, right? Especially when a change in direction is needed. It has been such a pleasure watching your blog morph over the past 6 months and watching you grow your passion. I will only be gone for a few weeks (and a guest post in between) and hope to come back with a more sharpened focus. xo

  6. Sometimes, you have to pause. I have to force – yes, force – myself to do the same thing sometimes. But I feel so much better when I do. I am so happy to hear that I’ve inspired you with my posts. I’ve used my blog to explore the whole concept of giving and am amazed at where it has taken me so far. And it’s just the beginning! Maybe we can collaborate some way in the future. For now, enjoy your pause! (though I secretly hope it’s not too long!)

  7. Sigh. Just when I’m finally getting back to feeling a little more normal and can get to reading my favorite blogs again…you pause. 😉 Figures! But, of course, I completely understand. I’ve been posting sporadically, because I just haven’t had the inspiration. Wait, wrong word. Motivation? Words? I have the inspiration just not the right…energy? I don’t know how to put it. It just hasn’t been “there”. A pause is a good thing. Can’t wait to see you come back refreshed. <3

  8. It’s not for long. I will begin a regular post schedule again on 1/1 – and a guest post in between. I was beginning to “stress” about getting posts up the next few weeks, and I took it as a sign to let go for a few weeks – and yes, I would love to collaborate one day! Something else to look forward to when I return!

  9. Perhaps it’s neither motivation OR energy – perhaps your energy is just elsewhere. You have a lot going on – getting your photography business up and running! And a pause is a good thing – fr everyone for that matter! I am looking forward to recharging. And hope to hit the ground running again on 1/1. It has been such a pleasure to see your “story” evolve. I can’t wait to see where it goes next. xo

  10. I am glad you are honoring your instincts to “pause.” I have done it more than once in blogging, but life called on me in other ways that I needed to fulfill. We are here when you get back. Good luck with your “pause.” I have a feeling you will come back stronger than ever.

  11. I’m not sure how you manage it sometimes but you seem to be able to articulate the many rumblings in my own head that I can quite wrap words around. I so get this. While selfishly, I will miss you and your posts dearly, a pause is so necessary sometimes. Too often I think that we don’t listen to the need to pause and just plow on through. I’m so glad that you are taking some time to sort things out. We will be here waiting to welcome you back.

  12. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to just take a step back and remove yourself entirely from a situation. The ebb and flow of writing is just that, a flow (much like yoga!). I’m so happy that you’re allowing yourself that space to really absorb and re-energize. I’ll miss reading your posts in the meantime, but I’m also looking forward to your future writings post-pause. Take it easy and enjoy each moment Ilene. 🙂

  13. Love, light and God speed to you! I’m not going anywhere, and I’ll eagerly await your return. I so admire your ability to pause and I love the tenor and topic of this post. The ability to pause and stay in our own skin is a gift – one I’d like to be more open to cultivating and receiving. Thank you for sharing your beautiful words and your incredible spirit. Here’s to fiction and new adventures! We’ve got your back! xoxo

  14. Thanks, as always, for your support. There are so many reasons why I am stepping back for a few weeks, but the bottom line is I just “feel” like I need to take a break and just live and observe for a while. I am glad to have the rest and I look forward to returning. And what a wonderful community I have to return to!

  15. Wow… similar planes…. similar places. We are connected somehow, and I find myself in a similar space.
    A break is good. I need to re-prioritize, see what’s working and what’s not. Good luck with your break. I hope it is fruitful and fulfilling!
    XXM

  16. I think it’s so important to do exactly what you’re doing. We have to live life in order to blog about it, and we can easily loose our focus when we’re logged on every day. I hope you get filled up with rest, refreshment, and inspiration!

  17. Because I am just finding you, I think I’ve come along at the right time – so I can soak up all these brilliant blog posts before you start them up again!
    I think I’m going to learn a lot on these pages …

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