Dear Supreme Court,
I’m not coming to you today as a human rights activist or a gay
rights activist or as a liberal.
Rather, I’m coming to you as a highly flawed individual who
has failed at my 11-year marriage.
As a heterosexual woman in the middle of a divorce, I’m
asking you to recognize marriage equality.
Because in my belief, any two people who are willing to a make
marriage work, should have one.
Marriage is hard. And if you must know, it’s been too hard
for me to figure out so far in this lifetime. While I would like to tell you
that I’d do just about anything to learn how to get this right, part of me
thinks that may be a lie, because in the darker days of my marriage, I often
think I didn’t try as hard as I could have.
There was nothing terrible about my marriage. I wasn’t
cheated on. I wasn’t humiliated. I wasn’t beaten.
We just couldn’t get along. And after a certain point in time, I wasn’t
willing to try to get along.
I wasn’t willing to try when we stopped agreeing on things.
I wasn’t willing to try when we stopped spending time
I wasn’t willing to try when we stopped holding hands.
I wasn’t willing to try when we stopped wanting to be in the
I wasn’t willing to try for God.
I wasn’t willing to try for the institution of marriage
I wasn’t willing to try for my husband.
I wasn’t willing to try for my children.
When I was done, I was done.
And I wasn’t willing to try again.
I make no excuses for myself. Marriage was difficult for me.
Maybe I’ll change enough one day that I can try again, and
maybe not. It won’t be tomorrow or next year or maybe not even the year after that.
Yet, even if there is a next time, I’m not willing to make any promises at how successful
the venture would be.
Because I’m just not sure how much I’m willing to try.
For any couple of any sex who is willing to try, please let
Because anyone willing to love, honor and cherish, should be
allowed to love, honor and cherish.
Any couple willing to stand by each other until “death do us
part” should have the right to not part until death.
Any couple willing to hold hands through the darker days and
stick it out in the same room, even when that room seems too small for two
people, should have the right to stay in that room.
Maybe one day that will be me, but in the meantime, please
let it be for them.
Where to find me: