Use Your Words

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It was a conversation I had never planned to have, the one with the friendly customer service representative from the limousine company.

Normally, I would hit someone up for a ride, but given I would head to the airport at 4 am on Friday morning, I decided to drive and leave my car there….until I realized that parking would cost more than a car service.

Saturday, when I contacted a local car service to make a reservation, the call was taken by the sweet and patient D.

D. was friendly, engaging, and not at all in a hurry to rush me off the phone or close the sale.  We made the kind of small talk that can only be appreciated by New Jerseyans, Parkway traffic, the chore that it is navigating the Newark International security lines, the knowledge that if you don’t get the first flight out in the morning to your destination of choice, as I planned to do on Friday, you’d have very little chance of getting out of there at all.

Once I made my reservation, D. asked, “I’ll just need the address where we’re picking you up, Mrs. Evans.”

My response to her was followed by a noticeable pause.

“That was my grandparent’s house,” D. said with a quiet astonishment.   “You live in their house.”

“Oh my gosh!  You’re a Gregory?”

Although I had never met them, I knew of her family.  I live in a small town, the kind of place where people stayed.  Many of the parents my kids went to school with knew the Gregory family while they were growing up.

“I practically lived in that house when I was a kid. I have so many memories from there.  Wonderful memories.”

“Your grandparents were adored,” I say to D. “And everyone knew them.  To this day, if someone who has lived in this neighborhood for a long time asks me where I live, I tell them I live in the Gregory house.”

“You call it the Gregory house?”

“It will always be the Gregory house.”

Thirty minutes later I received an email from D., confirming my 4 am pickup, along with a personal message, excerpt as follows:

I am so unbelievably happy and blessed to know that such a kind person lives in my grandparents house. I always wondered. I hope our paths cross again somehow. Have a Happy Mother’s Day! And we will see you Friday morning at 4am.

I smiled at her note, her warmth, her sincerity, her approval of my taking occupancy of a house that belonged to her family.

That note, by an almost stranger, gave me the most uplifted feeling.

Her words mattered.

Words have power.

As a blogger, I need to remember this, to use my words carefully.

With words, we can spread love or we can spread hate.

We can inspire or we can spread doubt.

We can spread laughter or we can spread gloom.

We can spread rumors or we can share truth.

We can change the world with words if we put our minds to it.

For better or for worse.

We have that opportunity, with every written word, every conversation, every shout, every whisper.

Are you as mindful of your words as you could be?

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This post is dedicated to my friend and fellow blogger Jennifer Barbour of Another Jennifer Blog, who inspires me through all of the ways she uses her words to help make the world a better place, while sharing “stories of those who incorporate philanthropy into their everyday lives,” through her Philanthropy Friday Series, her monthly Giving Pledge, and her contributions to the Global Team of 200.  Jennifer, thank you for using your words to spread so much good. 

Comments

Use Your Words — 59 Comments

  1. I love stories like this! I am not sure if/how I use my words to better the world. I am going to give that some thought and think about how I could. Even with my little blog, it might be nice to use my platform for something soul-enriching.

  2. What a wonderful, amazing experience. I can’t imagine what that woman felt on the other end of the line. The shock. The joy. WOW.

  3. This is such an amazing story, Ilene. You are so right, words are powerful and meaningful; they are something that we put out into the world that have an impact. What a great reminder of this! 🙂

  4. Such a lovely story. So often I want to rush through phone calls like that. I forget the impact they can make on a day. You are so very right, words matter so much. Some days they are all we have. I continue to strive to us mine for good.

  5. I got such chills!! What a story. You lifted each other up, I bet. Words do matter so much. In fact the “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” should be permanently amended to, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will break my heart..”

  6. Oh my Gosh, this is JUST AMAZING. In every way. I absolutely adore this story. And what an incredible gift you gave that woman with your words. Will be thinking of this all day.-Ashley

  7. I love stories like this … the connections and history that emerge. And what an important message to share. Words are so powerful, and in today’s world where anyone can be a publisher of content, it is a lesson we need to keep sharing. There is so much negativity online. It’s easy to be hurtful with our words and push publish when we’re behind the comfort and safety of a sceen. But those hurtful words can spread so easily. Hopefully we find more ways to be positive. I’ve seen your friend’s site, and I agree she is using social in a wonderful way. Hope you had a nice Mother’s Day.

  8. I love when we get glimpses of how small of a world this is. It’s sad that I think I am most careful of the words I choose with the people that aren’t the ones living in this house. I need to change that.

  9. Wow, what are the odds of that happening, and what an incredible story that really speaks to the power of words. And it is truly amazing how powerful words can be, setting a tone for a day or impacting your mood. Thank you for sharing such a lovely, positive story!

  10. Awesome story – and it isn’t just the words we choose, is it? It’s the awareness of the world around us. How easy would it be – and has it been – to sleepwalk through an experience like this and miss the connection altogether?

  11. I love this message. Words do matter, very much so. They are a very powerful source, and sometimes I think we forget about that. I do try to always be careful with mine. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but instead always do my best to lift them up.
    This was an amazing story and so great that your paths crossed! (And how did I not know you lived in NJ too??)

  12. Oh how true this is Ilene!!! Words are POWERFUL! Jennifer will be so excited to see this. I too, am completely inspired by Jennifer! She is amazing. And so are you, my friend!

  13. I posted a Happy Mother’s Day message to my mom on facebook yesterday. Shortly afterwards, a friend (Amanda) from high school commented on my post that my mom had been there when she (Amanda) had become a mom for the first time. My mom was an OB nurse for many years and was there to witness many women becoming moms. I thought it was so special that Amanda remembered that after 16 years!

  14. Thank you Kerry, and I agree, especially in this day and age, when anyone can be a publisher of content, it’s more important than ever to watch our words. I am glad you have seen Jennifer’s site. She’s just marvelous!

  15. I think the more aware we become of the world around us, the more carefully we choose the words. It all originates from the same mindfulness, right? And yes, I’m so happy I was aware enough to be in the presence of such a wonderful coincidence.

  16. What a wonderful story! That note would have made my day! Clearly that was a connection you were meant to make…I bet your paths do cross again someday! It seems like whenever something nice happens like that, it has the “pay it forward effect” – you feel good about what was said to you so you say something nice to someone else!

  17. Oh, how I love stories of lives crossing unexpectedly. They are an especially sweet treat in the midst of an ordinary day.
    I love your admonition to mind our words. Not only do we bless others, but we also get more of what we were after. It’s that catching more flies with honey than vinegar my Gram always spoke about. 🙂
    One other point about minding our words that has always bothered me: I have met many moms in my life who think nothing of calling their young children names and introducing them with their worst behavior in the forefront: This is my terror, my devil, my little one who can’t behave, etc. I cringe every time I hear that. I wonder how the moms would like being introduced or talked about with their worst habits or behavior as the focus?
    Thanks for your words, Ilene. They are always music to my ears. 🙂

  18. I so love this post, Ilene. Thank you! I was so busy with my day yesterday, that I didn’t get a chance to do any blog reading. I’m so happy I’m starting my day with this post. I am honored to be guest blogging for you this week. This story is just perfect. It exemplifies exactly what my point is about giving back. It’s not always about money or time. Sometimes it’s just paying attention and stopping to say a few kinds words. It makes all the difference!

  19. This is beautiful. I hope your paths do cross again someday. I tell people to choose their words carefully all the time. Be careful what you say because it can be forgiven but not forgotten. I also believe you should only use loving words and touch with your partner and family. Great read! As usual.

  20. Words are very powerful and D’s words were definitely some of the most impacting even in their simplicity. I have tried very hard to be careful with the things that I say because words can hurt just as much as they can heal. Great way of putting things into perspective as always Ilene!!

  21. I LOVE how you say we can bless others with our words! Can I wear a string on my finger to remind myself that my words can do that and should do that every time I open my mouth? And about what parents refer to as their children? Yes, Kim, yes. I 100% agree.

  22. I was so happy to dedicate this post to you! Because your message is all about *this* and like you said, we can give back in all ways, including paying attention. That’s where giving back really starts, right? Just by being aware.

  23. This is an amazing story. You never who you are talking to. That could have gone a totally different direction and left D feeling empty about her grands legacy, not to say anything about you or your character…just the situation itself. We should always be wise about the words that come out of our mouths. This was an excellent reminder!

  24. How remarkable! It’s so wonderful to live in the kind of town where people know each other like that. I often wonder about my grandparents house, I’m hopeful that it’s occupied by a kind and loving family and would be thrilled if I found out it were.

  25. I love this more than I can say. Your choice to be careful with words is unique, rare, and such a blessing in this world. Thank you! Thanks for your mindfulness and for always being so on-point and real. You wow me.

  26. Wow that is so crazy! It really is a small world…and kind words can go a long way. Our world would be a better place if people did more of this 🙂
    Natalie recently posted…Memorial Day FunMy Profile

    • It takes so little to be nice – and just a little more to be kind – and I agree that the world would be so much better if we all put in a tiny bit more effort! A little goes a long way!