It was our third time eating pizza that week. I think of this as my thighs rub together underneath the long black skirt I’m wearing as I walk the pie to our claimed spot against the side of the department store. The pizza won’t help eradicate my recent weight gain, that’s for sure. But if there’s been a theme to the past year of my life, it would be “screw it.” It’s not an angry screw it or an “I don’t care” screw it. On the contrary, it’s a “time to let up on yourself Ilene,” kind of screw it. It’s an “I’d rather have fun than be perfect” kind of screw it. It’s the kind of screw it that gives you breathing space and for the first time in maybe your life, allows you to exhale.
But back to the pizza. It was from Villa, the place in the strip mall where we met friends for Fourth of July fireworks. Villa makes the best pizza around, a nice, light tomato sauce, thin, chewy crust, and a mostly mild/slightly tangy blend of cheeses. The stuff melts in your mouth. They don’t make it easy to get a pizza there, though. They don’t deliver and they only accept cash. Yet, any local pizza connoisseur would walk there in a snowstorm if they had the craving.
While most of the town was at the pool club or the park to watch the fireworks display, I paid for my pizza and carried it across the parking lot full of tailgaters who, like us, were here for the great view sans the wall to wall people. We claimed a space on the side of the department store at the end of the row of stores, our backs up against the brick façade building and our blankets laid out on the concrete sidewalk.
The kids played across the street on the grassy hill overlooking the park while I reminisced with my friend’s husband about old music. We talked about The Police and Genesis during the Peter Gabriel years and the U2 Unforgettable Fire tour and his love for Kiss as a fifth grader. I told him about finding my vinyl collection the week before in my attic.
J. and I share our love of the B sides of singles and imports, the kind of rare imports that you could only find at places like Vintage Vinyl or Jack’s.
We talk about buying record singles, even if we owned the album the song was on, for the B side. Those B side songs were awesome. They were well-guarded secrets. No matter how many fans owned a single, how many people actually listened to the B side?
It made me think about how almost nothing is rare anymore. We live in a world where thanks to mass production, convenience stores, and technology, we have access to anything we want 24 hours a day, lottery tickets, directions to places, song lyrics, sex, pizza. If you’re feeling particularly impatient, you can open different windows in your browser and find them all at one time.
As night falls over the parking lot and the fireworks begin, I think about how easy it’s become for us to settle for easy. Watching the movie over reading the book. Waiting for the movie to come out on video because going to the movie theater takes too much effort. Emails over phone calls. Facebook updates over emails. Settling for the place that delivers versus driving out of your way to pick up really good pizza.
I wonder how many things I’ve talked myself out of doing or put off simply because they weren’t convenient. I wonder how many times I’ve rationalized believing that something didn’t matter to me because it wasn’t easy.
Yet, is easy really that easy? Those B sides to singles were great songs. I never regretted going out of my way to buy one. They played the top 40 singles on the radio ten times a day, but the B sides are the songs I remember.
I love the songs that nobody has “discovered”. Sometimes, those far outshine their more popular counterparts.
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I love those obscure songs as well. And for those of us who loved them together, I always felt like we share this wonderful insider information!
I thought for sure there would be a mention of Adam Ant when I saw “vinyl” in the title.
B sides were the rarity, the not promoted, but often the deeper song, the one with more meaningful lyrics, than the a side plucked for top 40.
I found Adam Ant among the vinyl! He *almost* made the photo gallery on the post. Man, was he a cutie. Right up there with Mr. Taylor. And yes, I loved those meaningful B side lyrics, the “deep girl” that I was!
I am so glad you were part of my Adam Ant/vinyl days!
Me too…they are the songs I remember. And your pizza that you have to go out of your way for is the pizza I would remember. In fact there’s a cookie store about a half hour from here that’s cash only and the owner is the crankiest man on earth and he yelled at me once and I got scared and didn’t go for a month but then I missed those cookies so much. And he apologized and has been slipping in extra ones ever since.
B sides. They’re like my secret treasures. I know I’m not the only one to listen to those songs but sometimes I like to believe I am.
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I am so glad you went back to the cookie store and even happier to hear that the owner slips you extras after yelling at you! I think you and I would really enjoy eating pizza together by the way. Perhaps eating pizza and listening to B sides?
Ha! “J.” got a kick out of being the catalyst for your blog today! 🙂 Funny to hear the convo and then read about it on your blog the next day! 🙂
You are now both officially guest stars on my page. Perhaps a reoccurring role is in the future! Loved spending fireworks night with you guys! xo
Awww the good ole days of music!
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It gets me all nostalgic, in a good way!
Oh I know I have talked myself out of things because they weren’t convenient. I use drive thru’s whenever I can. I go to the little grocery store because its quicker to get through, even though it costs more (but its also a local owner, so that’s another good reason for me). I order things online rather than go to the mall. I am sure there are a lot of others. Next time I might think about it (not the grocery store though). 🙂
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I love drive thrus and Amazon and stuff like that. I think when we miss out on an experience that fulfilling, because we’d rather do “easy,” that’s when it matters.
I loved those B sides – I remember many of them, too.
I think I can fall into the convenience trap – doing things because they are easy versus things that more time consuming, but that ultimately are better. I try to be more aware of it now, because that little extra time, that extra mile? They really make a difference sometimes.
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Like I said to Michelle, convenience is not a bad thing, so long as it’s not taking away from experiences that really deserve our time…and that we’d miss out on if we didn’t give them our time. I think we are the only ones who can answer for ourselves what experiences are worthy of our time and where it’s OK to go easy.
I am the exact opposite. I become quite skeptical if something is too easy. Easy success makes me nervous. If it isn’t hard and I haven’t worked for it there must be something wrong. The closest of gotten to vinyl records were thumbing through my mom, aunts and uncles collection. I guess I’m more of a cassette and CD type of girl.
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I had vinyl and cassettes simultaneously and was probably the last person on earth the get a CD player! I love listening to record players. It reminds me of the past – the best of the past. And I hear you when you say you are skeptical of easy. And that’s not a bad thing. I like a journey that has a little substance. There’s a satisfaction in that for me.
Ah, the forgotten B side. It is so true, it is sometimes better on the B side. I remember hearing once that we focus so much on the actual sunset, but if you turn around and look the other direction, you will see the most amazing sky —-and it is so true. I always look the opposite direction and marvel at the pinks, purples, and indigos. The B side! Great post!
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You are so right about the sunset! Of course! That’s the perfect analogy to this post! Perfect!
So true. We’ve grown accustomed to instant gratification and that is scary. Beyond music, I think this applies to so many other undiscovered talents – writers, bloggers, artists, pieces of work that take a little more effort and search. And when you find one of those hidden gems, it really is the best. 😉
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We are so accustomed to instant gratification. We want everything now and many of us, without the work. The irony is that there is so much satisfaction in the work itself, right?
I do that. Taking the easy way out.
Whether it’s actually easy? I don’t know. In my mind, yes. At the time.
I loved B sides too. They were little gems.
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I think sometimes easy is the right thing because it’s….well, it’s easy. But other times not. In a perfect world, I’d know the difference. And yes, let’s hear it for the B sides!
Great post! My friends and I constantly talk about what we’re sacrificing in order to go for the convenient. I rarely talk to them on the phone when that used to be the norm. It’s like no matter how connected we become, the more disconnected we are too.
That connect – disconnect is so true. I try to stick with the phone, at the least with my best friends. The other stuff feels connected but I think it’s more of an illusion of connectedness more than anything else. nothing best in real life, even though it’s not *easy.*
The “time to let up on yourself” screw it, is the very best one! You go, girl!
Oh, the B-sides. It’s such a shame they are a thing of the past. They really were the hidden gems. And you’re so right, that’s just not the way it works anymore…with ANYTHING. I think our kids are missing out by always having EVERYTHING at their fingertips with no effort or anticipation. It’s all instant gratification. It’s great for somethings (I can get my Kindle books downloaded to me in a minute!), but sometimes the anticipation and effort put in to getting something, is part of the pleasure of the experience. Or it used to be. –Lisa
The Dose of Reality recently posted…Dosepocalypse: It’s Worse Than Living In A Sorority House
Lisa I could not agree with you more. There are certain things where convenience is king and other things, well, I kind of miss the work and the anticipation and the satisfaction that came with waiting or working. Our kids will never know some of that and it’s a shame. And yes, the letting up on myself – ha! And here you were thinking that I subsisted on olives!
Oh b sides. I love it. Also? Hidden tracks from new order. I love your music posts!
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I have had so much fun with these music posts! And New Order? Oh. My. Heart.
When I met LB, he delivered pizzas one night a week… we eat a lot of pizza and I’m with you on the thigh rubbing… I’m not doing so well with the “screw it” philosophy! 🙁 I just feel gross!
That said, get your fill of pizza now! Good pizza is really hard to find in these parts. The place LB worked is the best I’ve found down here, but it’s still not as good as the worst up north!
And B sides… *sigh* I’m guilty of going for easy… definitely with email/texts over phone calls and my biggest one is of staying home and “relaxing” because it’s less taxing then going out… I miss out on so much because of that!
Single Mom in the South recently posted…A Southern Series: Diapers, Sneakers, Water Fountains and More
Everyone needs to relax and yes, a text is quicker and easier than a phone call. I think we could all benefit from some convenience, so long as we are really making our lives easier versus short changing ourselves.
My favorite part of this post – I’d rather have fun than be perfect! Heck yeah! I’ll raise my mammoth fountain coke to that!
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Ok, I’d raise my mammouth fountain Diet Coke right back at you – which is even worse I hear, due to all of the chemicals!
Amen to this message, dear dear amazing insightful and wise friend!! Oh, how I stand convicted of doing the “easy” almost all the time. It’s a constant choice, isn’t it?
I love that you are allowing yourself to let go of such high expectations and dare to live in a way that gives you GRACE and true acceptance of who you are – in this moment. And there couldn’t be a more beautiful and genuine you. I can feel your warm and bright glow from over here… 🙂
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I think for many of us, who take on a lot of life at once, easy is sometimes needed. I think at other times, we’re shortchanging ourselves from experiences that would be great – by taking the easy route. It just depends. Yet, there is a definite payoff with easy, and only we can know for sure what and when that is.
By the way – I love that we can find grace and true acceptance of ourselves by eating pizza!
I love your choices of music! I think that trying to find conveniences helps me with my sanity some days. When we multitask all day, we do what we can…at least I do 🙂
The B sides weren’t why I bought the records but often grew to be my favorites
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I hear you 100% on conveniences helping you keep your sanity. When my kids were really young, convenience was king. The bottom line for me is that easy is not worth it when the easy route shortchanges me in the long run, of a relationships, and experience, etc. But yes, sometimes, we have to order pizza from the place that delivers, or there will be no pizza at all.
And I’m glad you second my music choices! I discovered so many great songs on those B sides!
Great post. It is so true… especially in today’s modern society we often find ourselves doing what is “easy” over what is maybe more fullfilling. A very sad but true story. I’m happy to hear you got your “screw it” on ha. I too just recently learned to let up on myself, I was stretching myself so thin trying to be the perfect EVERYTHING, I was beginning to lose sight of what was really important and quite frankly burn myself out. Thanks for sharing! Great read for me this morning! ~Leah~
Leah Elizabeth Locklear recently posted…Best ways to communicate with your child
Yay for you for letting up on yourself! The payoff for being “perfect” is hardly worth it. Is there a payoff at all, really? I am having a great time getting my “screw it” on! I hope you do too!
Oh yes! The B side! We had a lot of fun dancing to the B sides during a couple of long Texas summers.
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I picture you out in desert and listening to them on pickup truck cassette players – under that hot Texas sun!
actually one of my favourite duran duran songs was on the b side – Secret October.
I just listened to it on YouTube. I have not heard that song in forever. Thanks for the memory jog!
Rationalizing that something doesn’t matter because it isn’t easy – oh my goodness yes. Long live the B side!
Tricia recently posted…Motherhood is my story
Let’s hear it for not taking the easy way out! It’s never really the easy way out, right?
I always loved the B sides and discovering those songs. They were always treasures and some of my favorites. I still do – prefer to find the live version or acoustic version of a fav song but I often don’t take the time or effort to. You’re right – everything is so convenient these days, so easy. And it’s easy to talk myself into easy. I’m glad that you are letting yourself let go of the high expectations.
Convenience. Such a double edged sword. It definitely takes away from certain things.
Man this is an awesome post. I had forgotten about B sides. You know what I’ve been thinking lately? I’m tired of easy? I would rather have the days when we didn’t have so much at our fingertips… when we played games for entertainment, used our imaginations, had to search far and wide for the perfect things, read more… my kids’ childhoods suck compared to mine. I think I need to change that!
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I am a huge hypocrite because my kids are all inside playing Wii while I respond to blog comments, because putting them in front of the TV is “easy.” Sometimes, I need easy – but I guess the gem here is not to grow dependent on easy all the time. Once I’m done online, we are going to the town pool where we will play all day – with no “screens.” Hopefully that will make up for the hour of Mario kart they’re having right now!
Speaking of music that no one listens to, my all time favorite album is T’Pau Bridge of Spies. So many unknown songs that I love so much. I think in today’s day and age, we are missing out on a lot of greatness in the name of technology. It’s a double-edged sword.
I loved the obscure bands and their obscure songs back in the 80’s and 90’s. Radio back then also made it easy to do so. All of the alternative stations are gone, unless you have satellite radio which I don’t. T’Pau Bridge of Spies! I just watched the video on You Tube! Talk about power ballads!
I remember buying the whole album and listening mostly to the songs that weren’t the ones on the radio playlist. My friends thought I was weird. I thought I was expanding my horizons.
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You were totally expanding your horizons! And those were the BEST songs! I would love to compare record collections with you!
I like your new screw it attitude, Ilene. It’s kind of sad how easy things are these days. My husband and I try to teach our boys about the B sides. We need to appreciate those unknown gems in life.
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Everything is homogenized. Sad but true. I love those obscure gems and I’m glad you’re committed to keeping them around too!
First of all, good for you for just letting yourself be! We put so much strain on ourselves and forget to “just be” – as for the “B” sides – those were the good days and the good times where we would just talk about the things we were waiting for or work hard for. Those days are long gone now but at least I can still share the rarities of music and stories with my children, even if they are at their fingertips so to speak.
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Believe or not I’m afraid of easy. I am completely skeptical of easy success. I am not “lucky” and if I don’t work hard I feel like I won’t get far. So easy is scary to me. Plus I cheer for the underdog. The underdog always does more.
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B sides? You’re way cooler than me. But I’ll tell you what, “f*ck it, I’d rather have fun than be perfect” is my middle name lately. And I bet it looks good on both of us! As long as my magical mind stays off my ever growing thighs. Love this post!
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Sometimes, I a hugely successful at *not* focusing on the thighs and sometimes not. Besides, all that pizza I’ve eaten this year has been soooo good. Glad to hear I have a partner in f*ck it this year!
B side is the best! Life is convenient now but complicated. In our efforts to make things easy nothing is ever good enough. We crave more, want more, when what we really need is less. And calm. And simple.
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I so agree that what we need is less. Now that I am cleaning out my house and getting ready to move, that has never been more apparent to me in a very concrete way.