A Modern Family Christmas

welcome to NJ

I thought the story would be the nose ring.  I was almost certain I knew my mother’s reaction.  I heard her, as I sat in the back room of the Wilmington tattoo parlor, after I felt the needle pierce my skin, go, “Oh , darling, why did you do that to your nose?”

Yes, I know.  Women my age are taking out their nose rings, not putting them in.  Correction.  Women my age took out their nose rings ten, if not twenty – years ago.  I was prepared for the inquisition as to why, her daughter, a responsible adult, with three children, thought that sporting a fake diamond stud in her left nostril would be a good idea.

I had answers to that “why,” many, actually.  It was the thing I wanted to do at eighteen but didn’t.  Midlife crisis?   Girls just want to have fun?  Because I can?  Maybe a little bit of all of the above?

I love my mother.  But she’s my mother.  There is always a lecture, sometimes two or three at a time since my decision to end my marriage 18 months ago.  My mother, who has still not accepted my split from S., has become queen of the doom and gloom sound bytes.  “At your age and with your baggage, you’ll never find another man!”   Has got to be my favorite.  I was almost positive that she would  find a way to tie the man thing and the nose ring together, ie. “How will you ever expect to find a man with that thing in your nose?”  The thought of this is unbearable, and as I drive up  I-95, I begin to think that a week of potential lectures like this could only be made bearable through the promise of good pizza, every single night.

Or a bottle of Malbec.

Or allowing myself to “heart” 26 year old boys on Tinder.  Which I have strictly prohibited myself from doing –  except for that one smoking hot engineer dude with the pitbull…which was by accident, I swear!  My finger slipped on the touch screen…

But I digress.

Surprisingly, Mom didn’t make a big deal about my nose.  As a matter of fact, it was a thirty second conversation.  It was almost disappointing, after all of my anticipation.  She shrugged it off with a “Well, it’s small. Maybe people won’t notice,” And changed the subject.

The real story about the trip to New Jersey started back in North Carolina, and my weariness about the drive.  I didn’t want to get behind the wheel of the car.  The thought of the trip made me nervous when it’s never made me nervous.   I was looking for reasons to not get on the road.  We started out almost 6 hours later than I had intended.  The trip took much longer than it should have.  There was a stop at Walmart for motion sickness pills for my daughter…after she had thrown up all over the car.   We hit an accident in D.C. that left us at a standstill for an hour.   I kept looking at my dash and praying that we would get to my mother’s before something happened.  But I couldn’t quite put my finger on that “something.”  I just knew we needed to get there as quickly as possible.

As we exited the last highway before arriving in the small Jersey shore town where I grew up, I lost all of the indicators on my dash board.  I had no speedometer.  I had no clock.  I had no gas gage.   And then the car totally lost power.  But not until I made it to my mother’s block and was able to cruise it into the driveway.  I shut it off and tried to turn it on again only to find that it wouldn’t turn over.  I grabbed the kids and unloaded that car in an awestruck state, not being able to help but think of all of the times we stopped on the road and I was able to start my car again.  Not being able to ignore that my car waited until my mother’s block before it finally gave out for good.

The next morning, I called S. and told him what was going on with my car.

“It’s the alternator,” he said.  “I can fix it.”  By later that day, my car was running fine.

After S. fixed the car, we sat together at my mother’s kitchen table going over the itinerary for the week.

“The nose ring,” he said.  “It’s cute.”

“Thanks,” I respond.

“I bet the boys really like it.”

I put my head down and turn away.  It feels awkward, this conversation, even after 18 months, especially during a moment like this, when he stepped in and fixed the problem and made everything OK, when he was the kind hearted man that I married, whose tall dark good looks that have only gotten better with age, can still make my heart skip a beat when he walks into a room.

It’s in these moments that I think, “Why?” and, “Could we have?” and “Maybe?”  And then I have to remind myself how impossible it all was.

These are the moments that hurt the most.  The push and the pull, the maybe and the almost.  The pain of narrowly missing the mark.   Because behind my self-righteous anger and mid-life crisis nose piercing and accusations and ego fueled flirtations with 26 year olds, is this:  the story of two people who were once very much in love, who couldn’t make it work.

After S. left, I sat at my mother’s kitchen table and thanked God for getting me here.  “Here,” as in my mother’s house, when that alternator could have died anywhere on that 650 mile span of road that we traveled the night before…and for “Here,” that place with my ex, beyond finger pointing and judgment, that’s real.

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing, there is a field… I’ll meet you there.”

~ Rumi




A Modern Family Christmas — 100 Comments

  1. Wow…that was quite lovely, in a sad but mature sort of way. I feel your pain as you speak of trying to save a marriage that can’t or shouldn’t be saved. I feel your wonder and awe at arriving at your mother’s at just the right time. I feel some pondering and thought-sorting coming my way. I wish you a blessed new year in every way.
    Laurie recently posted…Happy 2014!My Profile

    • Pondering and thought sorting are great tools. The wonder and awe of arriving at my mother’s in the nick of time will stay with me a while, for sure!

  2. wow is right…this was so heartfelt, honest and real…

    love that you got a nose ring, that’s pretty darn cool and your mom sounds like my mom, or is that everyone’s mom? lol luckiness on the car thing, happened to us this past week right in front of a service station and we were able to roll right in..phew…that’s timing…=)

    I’m from North Jersey originally…grew up in Bergen County…now we live in GA, just north of Atlanta…I love the NC Coast…I always tell myself if for some crazy chance I became single someday I would move there to live out my own Nicolas Sparks romance 😉 kinda lame, but I love that sh*t =)

    you are an incredible writer, I’m glad I found your blog.

    Happy New Year!

    Jen @ Virtually Vegan Mama recently posted…Apple Brandy Cranberry SauceMy Profile

    • Jen, the NC coast rocks every way possible. And while I don’t wish on anyone to become single, this is a great place to live if you are! And I love that your car problems happened in front of a service station. It sounds like you and me both had a stroke of grace in the past few weeks!

  3. Oh how I loved this story. There is so much hope dripping from your words. Not the hope of getting back together with S, but the hope and promise that two grown ups who were very much in love at one point can remain civil with each other when things don’t work out. It is a story that has been inside of me since I was a teenager and madly in love with the song Sunrays and Saturdays by Vertical Horizon (which I think is one of the most beautiful love songs of all time even though it is about two people going their separate ways).

    Here are the lyrics if you’ve never heard it.

    Open the window
    Let the sunset in
    If only for the last time
    Let me see you smile again

    I’ll take my records
    You can have your books
    I’m sorry I never read them
    But it says so much about us

    Always trying
    To make love out of care
    The perfect recipe
    But something wasn’t there

    Sunrays and Saturdays
    Perfect starry nights
    Sweet dreams and moonbeams
    And a love that’s warm and bright
    Sunrays and Saturdays
    Friendship strong and true
    Oceans of blue and a room with a view
    To live the life you choose

    You’ll write me letters
    I’ll call you on the phone
    A wire away from touching
    And never quite alone

    We’ll get to know ourselves again
    And we’ll heal our hearts
    It’s not that we’re bad together
    We’re just better off apart

    Always trying
    To have one and one make two
    And even though it never worked
    I still feel love for you

    PS- I like your nose ring.
    NJ @ A Cookie Before Dinner recently posted…One Word 2014My Profile

    • NJ, as you know, I had to YouTube this song and listen, because reading the lyrics wasn’t enough for me – although I’m so glad you left them here. And I love how you described this as a story of hope. I didn’t look it at that way, but I think you are right, and I am going to stick with that.

  4. Wow, Ilene. The car stopping like that…crazy timing. I love when you write about your interactions with “S” – it’s simply amazing to hear that you both can be so kind and caring towards each other after everything that could have left you bitter and angry. It’s still a love story, just a different kind.
    Stephanie recently posted…Crazy and I Know It – Twisted Mix Tape #37My Profile

    • I love how you say it’s still a love story, and you know what, you’re right. Just a different kind like you said. We very much function like a family when we are together. I feel fortunate for that.

  5. Ilene, you are so very brave. To recoognize the changes that need to be made in your life and to go forth to change them. I am too chicken to do that. You and S both sound like mature people trying to do what’s best for each of you while still being respectful of the other.
    Rabia @TheLiebers recently posted…Word of the Year: StillnessMy Profile

    • Rabia, I am so very lucky to have a great ex to work with. We want what’s best for our children, first and foremost but also what’s best for each other. It’s nice to be able to honor our marriage this way, even though it didn’t last forever.

  6. Whew. You knew it somehow. Hugs to you for the scare. Glad you made it there okay.

    And to all of your “theres” – I am happy for you. I am sure that the road was not an easy one, but you got there just the same. Love to you, my friend. May 2014 be an incredible year for you!
    Andrea recently posted…Let’s talk books.My Profile

    • I knew it, I did! But I am so grateful for the “here,” all of them. Thank you my friend and I am wishing you an incredible 2014 as well. xo

  7. An amazing post in every way. The fact that your car made it to your mom’s street is truly a Christmas miracle. And getting to that place with S. is inspiring. The two of you are writing the book on how to navigate a painful divorce like adults. Good for you. May 2014 be the year of all your dreams coming true.-Ashley

    • Yes, getting to my mother’s was a Christmas miracle! And I am fortunate to have S. as an ex. Even though the marriage didn’t work, having a great ex makes all of the difference.

  8. Happy New Year to you, my friend!
    I was smiling the whole time about your piercing 🙂 – and what you were expecting is pretty much the lecture my mother wanted to give my daughter about her eyebrow piercing (but I didn’t convey the message to my daughter, but erased the email instead).
    The thing with your car is pretty amazing and I’m definitely someone who believes in “signs”. I get those feelings of “why did we ever?” with your ex, because 16 years after splitting from my daughter’s father I still get them when I’m in the same room with him. I don’t think it’s a bad thing, because it makes me more willing to co-parent 🙂 – but there is never a doubt in my mind that I did the right thing – as did you!
    Kerstin @ Auer Life recently posted…2014 – The year to experienceMy Profile

    • Kerstin, I always love hearing about you and your ex and how well you do this too. And I agree that it makes the co parenting that much easier when there is a situation like yours or mine. I love him and appreciate him differently now and that’s not a bad thing at all. And oh geesh – I am glad you erased those emails. I love Pauline’s piercing!

    • And I love that you knew about this blog post before it was even a blog post – when we were chatting in your mother’s kitchen and it was just something that happened in real life and what I was thinking about when it happened!

  9. How wonderful that you made it to your mothers house! How wonderful that it was only two sentences about the nose piercing! My mother is a lecturer as well so I can totally relate.

    Just because two people love each other and have feelings for each other doesn’t mean they work well together. It is beautiful that you two work so well apart.
    Carla recently posted…January Healthy Living CalendarMy Profile

    • I really dodged that lecture! I mean, I was certain that would have been the blog post about Christmas – but I like the story that I had to tell in it’s place. Feeling blessed.

  10. You and S. seem to be in a place that most exes never get to, even after years and years. That’s such a gift for both of you and for your children. And moms will always be moms – our unconditional safe haven. This was wonderful to read on the first morning back to school – I needed that!
    Dana recently posted…Top ten books of 2013My Profile

    • Thanks, Dana. Moms, yes, we will always be moms. And my mom will always be my mom. And my ex? I’m lucky to have one like him – and you’re right – how many people can say that?

  11. Oh how I love this… because it is so raw and genuine and incredibly wise and laced with this integrity that just naturally transpires in your writing… in you.

    I think that is what I love about you most- not your relentless loving heart, although that is what draws me to you-

    It’s your raw integrity that is always threaded through every single time you reach the ledge you either jump off of and fall or jump off of and soar. Either way you go, there’s this incredible grace from which you go. Integrity is the word that best describes it, I think. It’s always in and around you, in this quiet and profoundly beautiful way.
    Chris Carter recently posted…HAPPY NEW YEAR!My Profile

    • I am touched that you use this word “integrity” with me in mind, Chris. And the times that I jump off and all, I am so glad you are there for me. And the times I jump off and soar, I am just as happy and grateful to be able to share those successes.

    • I think we need to come up with a new word for ex-es – because no relationship ever ends, it just continues in a different way. My ex and I are still very much connected and we are all very much connected, even once someone becomes an ex. But yes, so complicated, especially when there are “why’s” and ‘almosts” and “maybes.”

  12. I cannot believe that happened with your car! Can’t help but think there’s someone or something watching over you. You are blessed.
    I love that you got a nose ring. I pierced mine in 1996 and took it out in about 2000. I miss it sometimes and think of having it re-done. I’m sure it raises your coolness/cute factor to a level that even the smoking hot 26 year-old with the pit bull can appreciate!! 🙂
    Allie recently posted…2014 The Year of the BullMy Profile

    • Allie, I am completely picture you with a nose ring! I am sure it looked adorable on you! And I agree 100% that there is someone watching over me. This was too much of a close call with my car for it to be any other way.

  13. I adore you for the honesty in your writing, Ilene. How amazing that you were able to get into your mom’s driveway in the nick of time. I don’t believe those things happen by chance. My husband’s parents have been divorced for nearly 30 years and they get along great. They work together and even travel together at times. They know that they just didn’t work out and that their current situation is the way things were meant to be. I can imagine those emotions are just all over the place for the both of you right now.

    On another note, I’ve always wanted to get my nose pierced. For some reason, I’ve never pulled the trigger. Doesn’t sound like a bad way to handle mid-life. 🙂
    another jennifer recently posted…Wordless Wednesday: MOAM New Year’s ResolutionsMy Profile

    • I think it’s great that your husband’s parents travel together! S. and I are talking about Disney World for next year if my business goes well. I really hope it happens, and that is definitely a trip I would want him there for. It would mean so much to the kids.

      And I am all for the mid life nose ring. I will talk anybody into it!

  14. Somehow reading this (and rereading it) I am not surprised that your car held on for so long. I am happy that it did. You knew something in the universe was off, yet God kept you safe, protected and cared for the entire time. I am SO thankful for His mercy over you on that drive. I understand that weird place you are with S. Its a really great thing that you can still call him for help…a lot of people never get there–ever.
    Nellie @ Brooklyn Active Mama recently posted…#fitlist14 – – What is on Your 2014 Fitness Bucket List?My Profile

    • Nellie – I am so thankful too! And I 100% believe that it was grace that got me to my mother’s. And S. – I know. I am very, very lucky. He’s still family and we treat each other as such. That is also grace.

  15. First, go you for getting your nose pierced! My sister recently asked me if now that I’m a mom I’m going to take out some of my earrings (I have nine altogether). Hell no! I wish I had the guts to get my nose pierced. Also, that is incredible timing with your car breaking down. I’ve had my alternator break on me twice, and both times I was super fortunate as well, thankfully, where that happened.

    • Thanks, Bev! I love the nose ring! And go you for keeping in your earrings! I am glad to hear you have had the same luck with cars as I have!

  16. Sadly…or not… my ex and I never have those moments… he left and didn’t look back and I got over it. Now he’s too angry at the bed he made.

    Take 295 outside of Petersbug VA up to 301. It will dump you out on to 895 above Baltimore and completely cut out DC. Plus, while technically longer and with lights, there are plenty of places to stop to repair the car, clean it out, buy meds, or say, get a CD player and batteries when your radio craps out… I may know something about that!

    And my yoga instructor totally got divorced and got a nose ring in her mid-late 40’s. Maybe you should head this way and I’ll introduce you! 🙂
    Single Mom in the South recently posted…This Year, I Strive To Be…My Profile

    • I’m sorry about you and your ex. It’s difficult when there’s anger there to cover up whatever is underneath it. And I hope that he finds peace one day – it’s better for everyone that way.

      And 295 to 301? Thank you for that! So far, I’ve been dependent on Google Maps for navigation, but I am open to ways around that DC traffic and it’s always a bonus to know that I can find places along the way to buy meds or batteries or a CD player!

    • Michelle, the timing was amazing with my car. And S. and I are lucky that we can parent and relate this way. Blessed all around!

  17. WOW!! I’m so happy that the story ended the way it did – those long trips (alone with kids) can be so brutal (especially when someone pukes!!) and the thought of you ending up stranded somewhere is scary – so very glad that it worked out the way it did!
    And – I’m pretty sure that we want to see a picture of your nose ring – I think that’s awesome!!!
    Kim recently posted…The FitBit ForceMy Profile

    • Tricia, thank you for that admiration, and right back at you. And yes, next time I’m stuck, I’m knocking on your door. xo

    • Oh, Elaine, I don’t know if that’s going to happen. There is so much. SO MUCH that would have to change. If only if could….
      The nose ring – if you hover over my gravatar, you should be able to see it. xo

  18. What an incredible journey. In so many ways. (Though I’m sorry about the carsick; I’ve been in those shoes twice and it is NOT fun.) These are the moments that make us stand, open mouthed, and make us believe in grace, in something that makes the world spin in exactly the way it should. Beautifully done, as always.

    (And for some reason, I always imagine you with a nose ring. So maybe that was intended to be, too.) 🙂
    Justine recently posted…Filters, Bliss, and Gluten-Free SnickerdoodlesMy Profile

    • I love that you always imagined me with a nose ring! It just fits, doesn’t it?
      And yes, this journey, physically and emotionally speaking, reinforced my belief in grace in every way, xo

  19. I also meant to say you and your ex will always love each other…and I admire you though for recognizing the reasons it wouldn’t work but also enjoying those comfortable moments. I think it’s ok to show your love for each other in different ways and even if you can’t be together. Because we are all human and need love.
    Natalie recently posted…Review Extravaganza: October-December 2013!My Profile

    • I agree with you 100% on this – that we will always love each other and that it’s OK for us to show it. Not to mention it’s great for our kids to have this as an influence – even if we’re no longer together.

  20. I love that you got a nose ring! I got my belly button pierced years before it was cool. I took the ring out 18 years later (or so) when I was huge pregnant. Last year, I realized the hole was still there and I stuck that ring back in. I feel cool.
    I’m sortof sad though, about your ex. It’s so hard when real love just doesn’t, and can’t work. So hard. Wishing you lots of joy and wonder this year. Oh, and yes, I’d like to be your sister wife too. I think Tamara may like that we have more people to share the <3 with!

    • Thank you Kristi. It is sort of sad about my ex. But as far as ex marriages go, there is definitely a silver lining here. And your belly button! That’s awesome! I had one too – years ago, but sadly, mine did close up after kids. And yes, you, Tamara, and I – and Dana now too! We will rock the sister wife thing 100%

  21. He’s a good man, and a good friend. The comment about the nose ring was either good humor or a jibe intended to stab you exactly where you got stabbed. Impossible to know which. But here’s the thing. Yours is not the story of people who were once in love who now aren’t. It feels that way now, but I promise it isn’t true. It’s the story of two people with three awesome kids who have a future together NOT as a married couple, but as the parents of those kids. If you’re lucky, you’ll ALWAYS love him a little bit. It will make the parting hurt eternally, but it will make the meetings go easier. And there will be a fuckton of meetings between now and when the youngest graduates. So go easy on yourself if you have doubts. They’re normal, and it’s OK to feel that way.
    Jester Queen recently posted…Flori and the SnakesMy Profile

    • Jessie! I love everything about your comment. Everything. And you are so right – we do have a future together. And I think I like this future better than the future we would have had as a married couple. This works for us.

  22. Oh, honey. There is so much packed in here. So many relationships and so much history. I was talking to a friend of mine who is 40 and single. He wanted to know why it couldn’t just be easy with someone new. But how could it be? With 20 years of experiences and questions and self-realizations? It will never be the way it was when you were 26, like the pit bull engineer boy. Who knows, though. Maybe it will be better. xoxo Here’s to a great 2014.
    Deb @ Urban Moo Cow recently posted…Get Your Gosh Darn Resolution On: Practical Ideas for 2014My Profile

    • I don’t think it will be easier in our 40’s – but it will be different. I think in ways, my expectations are much more realistic than when I was closer to being a decent age to flirt with the 26 year olds! We mellow. We are more accepting of people and their flaws. In certain ways, I expect less. So tell your friend that I think it might actually be better! Or at least that’s what I’d like to believe!

  23. You must have guardian angles! I’ve had car trips like that! Once I was driving back from Austin and my hood flew up and bashed my windshield while flying down the highway!!! OMG it was the scariest thing ever, but somehow we pulled over to the median and we were both okay (me and my bff). Cahrazy!

    You’re going to flip out, but I have my nose pierced too! I got a stud on the left side about 2 years ago. NO ONE else has one…lol. No one else in their forties I should say. I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT and don’t regret it one bit. I will say, however, I was very nasally involved for about 3 months after getting it done. Long healing process…..

    Sounds like you and your ex are at least in a place you can be civil, and that’s awesome. Bittersweet though….
    Beth Teliho recently posted…NAPS, ZOMBIES, AND SUNSHINE.My Profile

    • That story about your hood bashing your windshield is crazy. Clearly we BOTH have guardian angels. And about your nose ring? Oh my gosh! I know we are new-ish friends but you have just escalated to a whole new level of coolness to me – and you were pretty cool already.

      By the way, I’m glad you’re getting to yoga more – that’s awesome. And guess who’s vegan for an entire 24 hours now????

      • You’ve gone vegan?? That is AWESOME! How cool. You’ll do great! I got two vegan recipe books for Christmas, but a “no meat athlete” book I got my husband had better recipes than any of them! There’s a slider (burger) recipe that I’ve made three times – it’s so YUM! And I made a cowboy chili last week that was to die for.

        My goal is to make yoga twice a week. For now. That’s up from 0 – 1x every two weeks!
        Beth Teliho recently posted…NAPS, ZOMBIES, AND SUNSHINE.My Profile

        • I needed to do it! I’ve been feeling so…blah. And I totally blame that for my diet, which was cheese, cheese, and more cheese. I am going to have to oook up the no meat athlete book. Vegan sliders? Woah. And that is great about you and yoga. Yoga is like crack to me. Which doesn’t sound very yogic – but it’s true.

    • Isn’t that nuts? All of the anticipation, me and the nose ring? You and the hair? And no reaction? Sometimes we feel like we know exactly what people are going to say, and then when they don’t say it, we’re like, “What???”

  24. I can’t imagine the strength it must take for you to deal with all of that and be put in that situation without being a hot mess.. I’d be a hot disaster and not a nice one either! How are your kids dealing with all of it? I always wonder how my son is truly affected by the divorce of me and his father – although in our case, there was no love (not in mine, I think he did love me which is sad now that I think about it but there was other stuff). Hope you’re flaunting off that nose ring! -Iva
    AwesomelyOZ recently posted…Finding Purpose in 2014My Profile

    • Iva – my kids have had a lot of ups and downs since our split – but all in all, they are rolling with it and I attest that to knowing that they have two parents who love them. I am also grateful that it has been a civil situation. When it’s not, it’s always the kids who get hurt. And yes, I am flaunting this nose ring like there’s no tomorrow!

    • Tinder! LOL! It’s a dating app that you access through your phone. It’s always interesting…I love you too. Can’t wait to see what 2014 brings for both of us! xo

  25. Oooh Ilena, I feel for you. I recognize those feelings that you so beautifully wrote here, I felt them before. Sending you lots of hugs from half way across the ocean. May 2014 bring be your best year yet.
    Maureen recently posted…Joy of 2013My Profile

  26. Loved every single word of this.

    Love your nose-ring.

    LOOOOE your writing!!!

    Love the idea (that at any age) a woman can pierce her nose, belly button, or get a freaking tattoo.

    Fab Post. xx

    • Oh gosh, you are so kind! Thank you for that! And I am with you 100% on that a woman can do those things at ANY age. A(nother) tattoo may be next for me. We’ll see….

    • Could you be any more of a love? And I think…I hope….you’re right about that corner. As a matter of fact I know you are. xo

  27. You must have someone very special looking out for you above. That car story is too cool! What an amazing place to break down.

    I love that you got a piercing. I really want to dye my hair pink for some reason. I know it will be disliked except by me.

    It is nice to know after divorce you can have those thoughts and feelings.
    Jess recently posted…Happy New Year!My Profile

  28. I had a nose ring at 21. Took it out, never went back in. I kinda miss it!

    Someone was watching over you on your drive. And it’s totally normal to feel that way with a former partner, someone you spent so many years making memories together.

    You’re finding your way to a new you, new normal. All par for the course, and I think you’re doing really, really well. xo
    Alison recently posted…New Year, New You: Kick Off 2014 Giveaway!My Profile

  29. So heart-stingingly honest and raw. I love your writing so very much. I also love that you got a nose ring because to hell with convention and I bet it looks adorable on you.

    You definitely had someone in the car with you on that long trek. Kind of amazing you only stalled on your parents street after a trip of that length. Maybe your guardian angel figured he/she did the best they could towards the end there 😉

    You’re in a really great place right now, even if it’s not always obvious to you. Falter you will, but you will also soar to brave new heights. And I’m excited to be along for the journey. Many good thoughts/vibes/wishes your way for a happy and healthy 2014. *CLINK*
    Charlotte recently posted…And the award for awkward Phish show couple goes to…My Profile

  30. I had a nose ring..and I LOVED it! But, I worked for a corporate bank that didn’t allow it. Assholes. (My husband got a nipple ring at the same time. He kept his in far longer than he should have:).

    I can honestly say that I would feel the same way if I were in your position. There are many times I wonder what life would be like if I split with my husband. He knows how to flatter me and make me laugh. Even if we hated each other, he would make me laugh.

    PS – Be sure to clean and turn your nose ring daily. You don’t want it to get infected!
    Michelle recently posted…RedirectMy Profile

  31. I absolutely adore how you tell your stories!!! It is SO easy to read, yet, it leaves going “I’m gonna email her because I have to know more about this ending or that ending…” LOL. XO, Jersey/Carolina Girl… (too long- I will figure it out, I have already got one for T now, we hav ejust revise yours…LOL) ~A~
    Amber Day Hicks recently posted…Whoa- it’s 2014- what????My Profile

  32. Pingback: You Gotta Be: Ask Away Friday with Tamara Camera Blog | The Fierce Diva Guide to Life

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