Destiny, Jail Cells, and Finding Your Voice

I probably would have enjoyed the dinner, had I not been eating in a Greenwich, Connecticut jail cell.  The take-out from the Italian restaurant across the street from the police station may have been the best meal I had in weeks, after spending my summer with Vick, whose kitchen cabinets contained no more than Frosted Flakes, Marlboro Reds, and grain alcohol.  Vick liked excitement.  He needed it, to be precise.  He'd wake me from my sleep to announce we were taking a road trip, and next thing I would know, we were speeding down I95 toward  Florida at two in … Continue reading

The Fierce Diva Guide to Quitting Bad Jobs and Breaking Contracts

Rudy plunks two Jack and Cokes in front of me and whistles through his teeth, which are stained from nicotine.  Before I can grab the drinks and run, he pushes his mouth to my ear. "God, I love the way you look in those pants.  Although I'd like to see how you look without them."    There is a twang in his voice from somewhere south.  He's short, skinny, and at least ten years younger than he looks. I pull away from him and load the cocktails onto a tray in silence, as I resigned long ago to ignore the comments … Continue reading

The Fierce Diva Guide to Lightening up

One of the Dudes I dated in my pre-Diva days is a guy we'll call Sam.  Sam, by most accounts, seemed pretty normal , especially compared to some of my other dates, like the actor, who wore more eyeliner than  I did, the nudist, who cooked me vegetarian meals in his backyard, out of what appeared to be a large cauldron, and the CIA hopeful, who broke up with me on the basis that I was "bad for his career."  Sam worked in a trade.  He left the house by six in the morning, came home, ate a meat and … Continue reading

When Diva Gets Dumped

When Diva Gets Dumped: An Original Play in One Act, by The Fierce Diva  SCENE ONE (Distraught DIVA, an attractive young woman in casual attire,sits across from DUDE, at a small table in a crowded restaurant. Both have barely touched plates of food in front of them.Dude's body is slightly turned away from Diva. His arms are crossed.) DIVA (Sobbing into a tissue) It's me, isn't it?  What did I do?  DUDE I told you.  You didn't do anything.  DIVA Am I too clingy?  I'm too clingy, aren't I?  DUDE You're not too clingy.  DIVA I'm too independent.   You don't feel needed. … Continue reading

The Diva Next Door

We all know her.   The neighbor who makes comments like, "I see you're not pruning those bushes as much as you used to."   The PTO mom who tags the most unflattering Facebook picture of you from the school gift auction.  The "frenemy" who flirts with your husband.  The co-worker who takes credit for your idea.   She's the Diva Next Door. Let's not confuse the Diva Next Door with the Girl Next Door, that kind, wholesomely pretty, all-American archetype.    The Diva Next Door is that woman or (women) in your life whose mission is to undermine you, or at least that's … Continue reading

Fierce Thinking

"Happy" is not my default temperament.  As a matter of fact, I spent years and thousands of dollars in therapy seeking it, with the hopes that the person sitting opposite my couch would help me find that one "great insight" that would shine the light on ever-after contentment.   While my work in therapy did not afford me "happily ever after,"  it led to a self awareness of my destructive personality/behavior patterns (i.e., my "low self esteem" leads me to pick unavailable men, my "fear of failure" keeps me in low-paying, dead-end jobs , etc.)  Self awareness is helpful,  but it … Continue reading