How to Trash a Vet’s Office in 30 Seconds

    “Mom, if I ate 50 hot dogs, how much would I poop?” “Dude, can we talk about this later?” “It would be like fifty times the poop I make now, right?” “Stop,” I mutter.  I eye Dr. S. apologetically as she works on Dolly. “It’s ok,” she says.  I have boys. She kneads the dog’s belly. “It might be intestinal. I’m going to take some x-rays.” Dr. S. whisks the tiny shih tzu out of the exam room and down the hallway.  The dude and the two girls spill into the waiting area and run around in circles.  … Continue reading

Fifty Shades of Shades

I have a confession to make, and it’s not pretty. I have a dysfunctional relationship with sunglasses. Actually, one could go as far as calling me the sunglass sadist. I break my sunglasses constantly.  And these aren’t little injuries. They fall off the console in my car and get stepped on. They get tossed in the bottom of my bag and crushed by my wallet or scratched by keys. They get run over. They get eaten by my dogs. I’ll put it to you this way. People who did something very bad in a past life come back as a … Continue reading