Thirty Years and One Day

  “Where’s my cell phone?  Have you seen my cell phone?” He looked at me with vague recognition as he gripped the edges of the overbed table and turned his torso with effort. “Don’t strain,” I said, “I’ll help you find it.” I searched through the nightstand and standard issue bedspread, reeking of bleach and staleness and under a chair.  And as I brought my head back up from the floor to meet his, it dawned on him. “It’s you.” With folded arms he turned away. He didn’t want me there.  I knew he didn’t want me there, but I … Continue reading

Three Things That Make A Difference

“Are you Mrs. Bernstein’s daughter?”  The attending physician asked as I rush through the double doors of the emergency room. I see my mother a few feet behind him, yet he directs me into a corridor, away from her.    What he says next comes to me in sound bytes.   “He collapsed…” “We’ve been waiting for you to get here…” ”Efforts to resuscitate have been unsuccessful….” Resuscitate? I knew this moment was coming, but that didn’t mean I was prepared for it.  My stepdad Milton had been sick for a number of months.   When he died on January 14, … Continue reading

Lessons from D

The theme of the workshop was forgiveness.  30 of us squeezed into the tiny space, at the studio where I had decided to do my teacher training.  At that time, I knew very few of the “regulars” there, and had randomly sat next to D., through three hours of postures and breathing designed to rid us of negative emotion. It was a moment in my life where I felt bitter.  Things had not gone “the way they were supposed to.”  Despite my not believing in holding onto anger, I had been grasping tightly to mine, and it was hurting me, … Continue reading