Learning to Fly

Wow! Have I crammed in a lot in three days.   I recited a few choice words for the naysayers on Alexa’s blog on Monday and  I introduced you all to a dog loving thirty two year old mystery man yesterday, and today, well today… Tamara’s here.  I could go on and on about my soul connection with Tamara. Our NICU stories, our identical choices in baby names, love of all things grunge, sort of the same maiden names, the instantaneous emotional connection I have to just about everything she says, and the list goes on.  On top of that, I … Continue reading

I Am Me

  “First time? For real?“ “First time,” he says cracking a tentative smile. “Dude! Awesome,” I shout as I give him a high five. “What about you girls in the back?” I ask as I return to the front of the room. I look at a cluster of young women sitting in the back, who I guess to be in their 20’s. “Second class,” the one in the corner says. “Second class ever?” She nods. “This is the best night!” I say slamming the palm of my hand on the floor.  “I’m so happy you’re here!” I am sitting on … Continue reading

Welcome to My Midlife Crisis

Once upon a time, in a New Jersey suburb, my husband and I had decent paying jobs in Corporate America.  We never led an ostentatious lifestyle. We owned a small house, a modest car, paid for our home improvement projects with cash instead of loans, and contributed to our 401K plans.   We were fortunate to have a little left over for "extras,"  such as birthday parties for our children and vacations.  The "emergency fund" in the bank allowed us to pay the occasional unexpected medical bill or car repair without affecting our monthly budget.  Then came the crash of 2008. … Continue reading

Birthdays and Other Occasions Laden with Disappointment

If you're a regular on the blog, then you know you'd have more fun hanging out with a piece of plywood at a bar or a party than with me.  So, it should come as no surprise that when my birthday passed a few weeks ago, the day slipped by without a big girls night out or a lot of fanfare. I had a great day.  It was a normal day-in-the-life-of-a-Fierce Diva, but with some extra phone calls and cards in the mail with good wishes for me.  I don't have high expectations for birthdays or other holidays, but it … Continue reading

Fierce Thinking

"Happy" is not my default temperament.  As a matter of fact, I spent years and thousands of dollars in therapy seeking it, with the hopes that the person sitting opposite my couch would help me find that one "great insight" that would shine the light on ever-after contentment.   While my work in therapy did not afford me "happily ever after,"  it led to a self awareness of my destructive personality/behavior patterns (i.e., my "low self esteem" leads me to pick unavailable men, my "fear of failure" keeps me in low-paying, dead-end jobs , etc.)  Self awareness is helpful,  but it … Continue reading