It is not only your right as a Fierce Diva to be sexy, it is your responsibility. But before you throw on a push up bra and false eyelashes for your next trip to the grocery store, perhaps we should discuss the Fierce Diva definition of sexy.
First, I'll explain what sexy is not.
- Starving yourself or "pounding" on an exercise machine to squeeze into a certain dress size is not sexy.
- The pursuit of "Manufactured Pretty" to win the attention of a man is not sexy. The props of "Manufactured Pretty" may include but are not limited to tanning booths, tanning sprays, diet pills, sneakers that reportedly change the shape of your ass, and rat poison injected anywhere onto your face to reduce wrinkles.
- Sexy is not about trying meet some cookie cutter template of beauty to keep up appearances with the Diva Next Door. The Diva Next Door, despite her Slim-Fast body, premeditated wardrobe, and $200.00 highlights, isn't sexy. Next time she flirts with your husband, don't let it phase you. I'd like to think you married a smart man, and smart men can see right through that veneer of calculated attractiveness that's backed by no substance whatsoever.
What exactly is sexy, then?
Sexy is an energy.
Sexy is about feeling good in your own skin regardless of your age, weight, and other physical attributes. It's the feeling of "aliveness" we experience when we take care of ourselves emotionally, physically, and spiritually. It's about bringing our focus and passion to everything we do and everyone we come into contact with.
Don't think I'm asking you to throw out your eyeliner. I want every Fierce Diva to look her best, because looking our best helps us feel our best. However, there is a mighty difference between accentuating your attributes and trying to morph into Heidi Klum, when you're a short, stocky brunette. There is also a mighty difference between caring about your appearance and being attached to the idea that looking a certain way will bring you happiness. You know better, Divas. By now you understand that happiness is not dependent upon our external circumstances, including our physical appearance.
Now, here's the clincher. If you force yourself to be focused and alive and present for the sake of being sexy, you're not going to be sexy. Because now, you're in a place of self consciousness, and self consciousness isn't sexy. Like with anything else, when we try too hard, it won't work.
Why discuss sexy, then, if I'm advising you not to try to be sexy? Because when you love what you're doing and feel alive, you develop a certain charisma that draws people to you, in an authentic way, that will inspire them to love their own lives the way you love yours. When you enter this realm, not only are you sexy, but you have truly become a Fierce Diva.
So, all you have to do to be sexy, really, is live the life you love.
Namaste, Divas !
© 2012 Ilene Evans
