She stages a grand entrance at the elementary school pick up, slamming her car door and stomping her way through the cluster of moms chatting quietly. You avert your eyes and pretend to type on your phone, but this does not stop the Drama Queen Diva from making a bee line to where you are standing.
Today she rants about the PTO moms who left her out of the yearbook meeting, even though she's on the committee, her vacuum breaking, and the audacity of her mother-in-law to suggest that she stop giving her son Cheez-Its for breakfast. There is a severity in her appearance. Perhaps it's too much dark lip liner that protrudes the actual lip crease, Tammy Faye Baker eye lashes, or a well intended perm that leaves her looking like one of the members of LMFAO, with unflattering highlights.
After five minutes of her manic outburst, you feel as if you have gone through the spin cycle in the washing machine. You try to interject responses into the conversation, but she bulldozes over you and continues her one-sided tirade. Once she exhausts herself, she removes the large wad of gum from her mouth, tosses it onto the grass, and begins eating from a bag of Doritos she retrieved from her purse. This is the first chance she has gotten to eat all day, given the stress she is dealing with.
This is a typical afternoon for the Drama Queen Diva. The day before, her rant was about a frustrating meeting with the principal, who does not understand that her son's "behavioral issues" are a direct result of him having a very high IQ, the slight discoloration she found on the rim of her new dining room table, and the ants in her kitchen. All of these issues are making her life unbearable.
If Drama Queen Diva stays home with her children, she complains her kids are too needy, and she has no time to herself. She condemns her thoughtful, highly attentive husband for having the audacity to go to work. He has no idea what she goes through!
If Drama Queen Diva has a job, she complains she's underpaid, the work is too stressful, and that there are no good places around to go to lunch. Although, one has the feeling that if the Drama Queen Diva worked in an office that provided free massages and allowed her to watch "Gray's Anatomy" all day, she would still find something to complain about.
If you're wondering why the Drama Queen always has a crisis, it's because she needs crisis. Her life doesn't feel normal without crisis, and she will create them to keep her world feeling familiar. Where do crises originate? In our minds, or course. The Drama Queen Diva has such a limited and biased perception of reality, she sees every situation in the worst possible light, and feels that the world is out to get her.
It's difficult to maintain a friendship with the Drama Queen. Not only does she need a crisis, but she feels entitled to one. If you try to tell her that her circumstances aren't so bad, she will be highly offended by your opinion. Why? Because now you are challenging her perception of reality, a perception that she relies on as her "truth."
Be compassionate to the Drama Queen. Understand that she doesn't know how to be happy. However, you must set limits. Don't pick up the phone if you don't have the hour to spare to hear her complain about her mother-in-law. Don't feel the need to agree to opinions of hers that you find irrational to show support. However, don't try to change her views, either. This is something she must learn to do for herself, if one day, she is that lucky.
In the meantime, be an inspiration to her. Live the life you love, and hopefully, through your Fierce Diva power of example, she will allow herself to do the same.
Namaste, Divas!
©2012 Ilene Evans
