The Dude would go off for hours, to the field, the butterfly bush, the playground, or underneath a chaise lounge in a fortress built with towels.
Most of the time he was with Jack, the Dude’s best friend, a surrogate brother, with whom he spends his summers at the town pool.
Jack is a good boy, a really good boy, with an even keeled disposition that tempers my son’s occasional moods. They have the same imagination, which allows them to play with Legos or boats or collect leaves or rocks or catch butterflies for entire afternoons.
I call the Dude in every once in a while for sunscreen or to have some water.
“Are you tired, Buddy?” I ask, after the Dude has been in a sunny field for three hours.
“I’m not tired, Mama,” he says, taking a sip of water and running back to play.
He has minimal hunger, and would ignore his thirst completely if I did not run after him with a drink. His excitement for the day sustains him. He doesn’t want to miss a minute, especially of his time with Jack.
The Dude loves life more than anyone I know. The first one up in our house every morning, he gets dressed, comes downstairs, eats breakfast, and brushes his teeth, all in a span of twenty minutes, because he can’t wait to start his day. To my Dude, the possibilities are endless.
To my Dude,
the possibilities are endless.
I often wonder if his zest for life can be traced back to the fact that his began with complications. He arrived unexpectedly 9 weeks early, and required respirators, feeding tubes, heart medications, and blood transfusions to get well. While the latter weeks of his 46-day NICU stay was a precaution, to get him bigger and more resistant, there was that touch-and-go moment in the beginning, where we just didn’t know if he would be OK. Does he somewhere, in his bones, remember how uncertain it was? Does he try to squeeze the most out of every moment of every day, because inherently, he knows not to take his time here for granted?
The Dude has two sleepovers at Jack’s house this summer, which he’s still talking about. Jack’s mother says that when the Dude is there, he and Jack go off for hours, as they did at the pool, playing in their own little world, both literally and figuratively.
Jack and the Dude go to different schools, so during the winter months, they see less of each other. But the Dude has these wonderful summer memories, to tide him over, until he is with his best friend again.
In the meantime, the Dude has a lot to teach me. About life, love, and friendship, and about living like you mean it.
Squeezing the most out of every moment….sounds like Dude is a smart guy!
So very sweet! Were you like him when you were little? I imagine you as a busy little live to the limits girl.
How is it that we lose that sense of adventure and play? We must be fierce in maintaining space for joy in our adult lives!
Now I have a crush on the Dude. xo L
I like the way you think of his zest for life. Both of my girls were preemies and NICU babies too. Ash lives life very cautiously and Bean is full throttle. I wonder if it is a connection to how they see almost losing their lives right from the start.
Yay for your Dude and his best friend Jack. Every kid deserves a friendship like that. I’m so glad they have sustained it in spite of going to different schools.
This kid inspires me every day. He just wants to live. And life fully!
You know what Kim? I was nothing like him! I was awkward and socially apprehensive and melancholy. It took me a long time to come out of that shell! But when I did, I went to the other extreme and became a loud mouthed, arrogant teen. Then, I spent a few decades finding my balance between extremes…
My son reminds me to find joy in the every day. He is the BEST teacher!
I don’t blame you one bit! 🙂
Kristen, I swear this boy knows – on a deeper level than most kids – how precious life is. He lives out loud. He squeezes the most out of every moment. That’s interesting that your girls are both former preemies too, and that they have those extremes. Can it just be a coincidence? Or more?
The difference in schools makes the friendship even MORE special since they are not together every day. And it makes the summers absolutely magical!
It sounds like he and Jack have a pretty great friendship going on. It’s incredible to see them find a friend like that. And the line – “living life you mean it”? Perfect. PS – I can only dream of my boys getting up, dressed, fed, teeth brushed, etc. all within 20 minutes. It takes Jasper about 20 minutes to get himself out of bed!!
I wish my boys had half the enthusiasm and drive that your Dude has! I’ve got 2 lazy boys for sure. The connection you made to his start in life is very interesting. It does seem to explain things, doesn’t it?
This is the happiest sentence I’ve read in a long time: “the Dude has a lot to teach me. About life, love, and friendship, and about living like you mean it.” What a touching, beautifully crafted post – I love it! And I love that you are open to learning from your children. I pray for that openness!
I love your writing. What a cutie pie! It’s so awesome that he’s making a special friend. Sleepovers are such great memories. 🙂
My son loves his friends! He has four or five best friends from different areas of his life. He and Jack have a true, blue “bromance.” They just love each other’s company!
And yes, I am lucky that he loves morning! But my girls…not so much 🙂
I am so lucky to be able to experience a child like this – soaking up every moment of every day – and just wanting to live so fully. He is a great teacher!
Mary, thank you so, so much. He is definitely here to teach me an amazing lesson. I am sure my girls have things to teach me as well, but it as not as clear to me what it is…I think it gets lost in their girl drama!
Thank you, Adrienne! He loves his friends, love to play, loves to live. It is a gift to have a child like this! I am blessed!
What a cutie. Those wonderful days spending all day with a friend at the pool. He’ll remember them forever.
Oh to live life by getting up every morning excited by the day! That is a gift. A wonderful gift.
This is such a beautiful ode to your son, the fun of summer, and the joys of friendship.
{I adore your words about living more fully after a more difficult start. Wow, is there ever a lot of truth in that. And how amazing that he already has this wisdom instinctually, in his heart! Love!}
He sounds a lot like my son. He has had the same best friend for 6 years now. A friendship like that is precious.
I love that he has these memories. Memories can bring us to such a happy place. I hope he hangs onto them forever!
I have so much to learn from this little boy! I want to wake up every day excited too!
Thank you, Galit! This boy has to much to teach me, about wonder and living fully and appreciating life. It really DOES seem instinctive with him. It gives me the chills sometimes.
Yes – those close bonds between boys are priceless!
Oh, how I love reading posts from before I knew you. One day I’ll get to all of them, I’m sure.
I like The Dude a lot.
I know you know that I know..that Desmond’s NICU stay was 40 days shorter than The Dude’s. And I don’t know if it was ever touch and go. There were some breathing saturation issues, according to one hospital. The other hospital said not at all. Yet there is something in that boy, whether he was born with it, whether it came from a better appreciation for the outside world, or both, and he is the highest-on-life little baby I can imagine. People in public see it. You mention the word “cookie”? He flaps his arms like he’s trying to fly and sings like a bird.
“Cookie.”
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Des and my Dude would get along so well. I don’t know if it’s a boy thing or a NICU thing or a Des and Dude thing, but yes, my boy loves life more than anyone I know. And he would most definitely flap his wings and sing the word cookie on cue if you mentioned the word cookie. I love being around him because he is just so into loving everything – he reminds me how I want to live. These boys are treasures, aren’t they?
He sounds like he really knows how to live life to the fullest!! That truly is something special. I love watching my boys when they are having fun…it’s like watching pure glee sometimes!
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He really does love life for than anyone else I know. It’s so inspiring to experience him. Yes, I know what you are talking about when you mention thatpure glee. It’s such a gift to see that in our children!