Predictably, the morning went to pot since I had to get out
of the house a half hour earlier than usual.
To my new bosses it probably felt like a nominal request. “Can
you come in a half hour early on Friday?”
What’s a half hour to most people?
But for me, it required making “arrangements,” two sets of
arrangements to be precise. One for my
grade school kids and one for my preschooler.
A neighborhood parent was kind enough to see the older guys onto the
bus, and I was able to drop off my toddler a half hour early at her pre-school. For a fee.
But it was my fourth day on the job, and I hated to say no,
to their minor request, even though I had to scramble to make it happen.
An “important client” was coming in that morning, and most
of the staff was out. The receptionist was out.
The Operations Manager was out.
Everyone was out, as a matter of fact, except me. I needed to open the building, put on lights,
start the coffee, and answer the phones – and get to the office a half hour
earlier than usual. Not difficult,
right?
I’ll let you decide.
7:30 I ask my kids what they want for breakfast.
7:40 I ask my kids what they want for breakfast again.
7:45 Throw breakfast on the table and tell them to eat (“Shared
ownership,” by the way, has gone out the window. I am again a drill sergeant).
7:46 My kids protest in unison, “I didn’t ask for that.”
7:47 I tell them to eat what I’ve put in front of them or
they will be grounded from play dates for the rest of the year.
7:50 I tell them to eat quickly!
8:00 I tell them to brush their teeth and get dressed.
8:02 Toothpaste explosion all over the bathroom sink which I
am now cleaning up while trying not to get pink Cinderalla Crest Kids on my
work clothes.
8:05 The dog pees on the carpet.
8:06 The other dog pees on the carpet.
8:07 I scrub the pee out of the carpet with a rag, while
trying not to get dog pee on my work clothes.
8:10 I realize that I have not yet packed lunches!
8:11 After screaming many exploitives, I quickly prepare three
lunches.
8:17 I holler for the kids to put on their shoes.
8:20 I throw my two older kids at a mom from the bus stop,
toss my youngest into her car seat, and haul ass out of my driveway.
8:30 I walk my girl into the “before care” room at the
preschool and after 20 rounds of hugs and kisses, make a beeline to the exit
and hop into my car.
8:40 I arrive at work 5 minutes earlier than they asked me
to get there! Psych!
8:41: I unlock the office, turn on the lights and radio and
start the coffee.
8:50: I answer the
phone without stammering.
8:52: It came almost
as no surprise that the phone call was from the 9:00 client rescheduling due to
car trouble.
I slump back in my chair and exhale.
Was it for nothing? Maybe.
Did I stress way too much about getting there early and doing everything
right? You bet.
That half hour took effort.
At least for me. There’s been a
lot of changes in my life recently, which have required this Diva to trade in
her Doc Martens for a pair of big girl shoes.
Being the only parent in the house and getting to a new day job hit me
almost simultaneously. This Diva has had to grow up pretty quickly,
and the new shoes need a little breaking in.
Look, I’m not naïve to think that a slight change in my work
schedule was a hugely big deal – because to many of you, this is nothing. It’s
what you do every day and then some. There
are those of you who drop your kids off at daycare by 6:30 am to make your
train, and those of you who work a day job and go to school at night on top of
taking care of your kids – and some of you single moms. There are those of you
who pick up your kids from the sitter after work and hop on a bus to get to a
Laundromat and others, still, who work a second job so that you have enough
money to take that bus to the Laundromat. And to those of you who do that,
my bopping around in my high heeled boots and mascara and feeling like a rock
star because I figured out how to use the coffee maker may seem trite.
But each time we step a little bit out of our comfort zone, even
if it’s a comfort zone of thirty minutes, we get to prove to ourselves that we
CAN step out of our comfort zone. And as I sit here and struggle right now,
struggle in a way I haven’t struggled in a long time, that little tiny step out
of my comfort zone is a sign that I can take more tiny steps out of my comfort
zone and be OK.
And it’s a safe bet that I’ll be taking those little tiny
steps while wearing these.
Namaste, Divas!
Awesome post! It may seem small in the grand scheme of things but it does move you out of your comfort zone and empower you to believe that you can handle things. Btw, you sound just like me in the mornings 🙂
Ooof! What a day. Don’t apologize for feeling overwhelmed just because other people are also overwhelmed. You’re allowed to be overwhelmed; you have a lot going on!
Don’t apologize. This is your new reality and it’s a life adjustment. Yes other women are doing what your doing, and yes other women have it harder or worse. But this is YOUR life and yours to travel. That is valid and to be valued. What comes through in your writing is that at the end of the day you feel BLESSED to have a journey, a challenge to take on. Your view on life and the struggles we all face are inspiring to me. Sending you good energy and wishes !
A half an hour IS a big adjustment in the grand scheme of things. There has been so much change, so even if it looks little to an outsider. You are doing great…making the changes necessary for a happier and better life.
p.s. that pink Cinderella Crest is flourescent and I had a pile of it on my bathroom floor the other day when Sophie stepped on it. What a mess!
p.p.s You look great in big girl shoes!
xx
Ilene, I know how hard it is to adjust your schedule with 3 little ones. Good for you that you made it (and with such a positive attitude!). I nearly lost my mind at 6 this morning when I realized we were out of American cheese for school lunch. I think my co-workers would faint from shock if I ever showed up to work wearing makeup, so I’m pretty impressed at how you are pulling it all together. Love your boots, love the whole outfit and TGIF!!!!! xoxo, Emily
It’s so hard when you have a schedule and it gets thrown off. Even though it may seem little after the fact, it’s not when it’s happening. Don’t feel bad. It sounds like you rocked it!
ALL big girl shoes should be Docs.
And also? Anybody who asks a parent who has to get the kids somewhere at a specific time every AM to be early is exceedingly cruel.
Minus the dog and the extra kid, were you watching me in our house the last two days?? OMG why are mornings LIKE that?? Even though it was only 30 minutes, it is a big deal. For me, it’s proving to myself that I can do it and that I’m capable. You are doing great, you know that, right?
Mornings are hard enough. Adjusting a morning by even half an hour is like asking a mom to move a mountain – by hand – one rock at a time. Be proud! You did it. You accomplished something new. And the next time will be a little bit easier. And you’ve inspired other women that they can say yes to something new too.
What she said (Dawn @ComeOverForCoffee) … I adore how you always end your posts with a thoughtful twist; this time acknowledging the benefit of stepping out of your comfort zone. I would have just been complaining about how hard the morning was (yikes!) and hoping to never have to do it again! I’m awed that you can see the “big picture” benefit of this half hour change in your schedule. You’re a wonder! And yes, you’ve inspired me again today!
We talked about this last week in my yoga studio … inviting bliss to come, not in the way that we think bliss looks like, but in a way that appreciates the life we live. We talked about how this sometimes mean being uncomfortable, or learning a different kind of comfort.
Sending you all of the comfort of fall and big girl shoes, as you continue taking your small steps forward. Om anandam. 🙂
Great post. And totally, feel your pain. The slightest changes can make the hugest differences. I need to remember this when I start my workout regimen again.
Having such big shoes does not literally mean your a boyish. It just dwell for your fashion style.
I’m exhausted just reading that! But it sounds like you did an excellent job and were able to get everything done on time that morning. I have a hard time when my day starts off with a lot of running around. Sometimes I panic about it the night before and can’t sleep well as a result.
You are doing a GREAT job! Don’t ever doubt yourself. What you do is a LOT of work and you need to give credit where credit is due. And if you don’t do it today, then here I am sending it your way virtually 🙂 Namaste, beautiful diva!
Whew! You had a long morning, but you made it. I can’t believe the client called to reschedule. I’m learning that with all of the hustle and bustle the work week bring us, the comfort at the end of that is that you SURVIVED! It is such a struggle at times, just getting through some days,while working a full time job, with kids, un-planned events, and other life’s obstacles. But,you made it happen. So Kudos to you!
Stay strong Diva and survive!
Wow, all that AND you were 5 minutes early. Dang client! I hope you left 30 minutes early to make up for that time.
Lately, that morning routine has been my life. I recall in another post of yours you mentioned that if you don’t get up early enough then your morning is just “off”. Sadly, that’s been my life for the past few weeks. Can’t get it together. The result? A raving lunatic! Time to put my big girl boots back on and get it together. If only I could find big girls shoes as cool as yours:)
Thanks, Denise. It’s true that the tiniest little things move us out of that safe place and onto bigger horizons!
Thank you Deb for reminding me to not apologize for “having it better” than others. The tiniest things can be a big deal to us when they are new. xo
I will gladly accept your good energies and wishes, girl. And you are an inspiration to me too! Wow! I remember so clearly our conversation about your going back to school – and here you are on the other side already. Life relaly does take care of us. xo
Thanks for the vote of confidence in my shoes, Martha! And yes, you are right – with kids especially, a half hour is HUGE!
You are so right – in that when we are in the “thick of it,” even the tiniest adjustment IS a big deal. I am glad I am on the other side of this one, though – and more prepared for the other mornings like this one to come!
Yes! Docs it is! And yes – not all bosses “understand.”
Thanks, Christine. The “day job” thing has felt like a huge challenge to me. My last company let me telecommute and I was spoiled that way. Having to be in an office every day by a certain time and looking presentable has been an adjustment!
Thank you, Dawn. You are right – it is moving a mountain – with 3 little kids! And if I can do it, others can do it, too!
Oh, Justine, I love what you were talking about in yoga! And it is so true. one of my favorite yoga teachers talks about yoga being what prepares us for the “great things to come,” because it gives us a sharpened awareness for life – and it allows us to be AWARE of the great things when they sre in front of us so that we don’t miss them. In an odd way, this was a great moment for me. Hello, bliss! xo
Good luck with your work out regimen! there will be discomfort at first, but it will be so worth it!
Emily – I totally share your pain over realizing that you were out of American Cheese! I have so been there! Regarding my outfit – Thank you! Everything in my work wardrobe is black because it makes the matching thing much easier! Love to you!
Once again, Mary, I am humbled by your kind words. Believe me, there was a LOT of complaining offline, but I do think that every time we can push a little past our limits, we’re growing – besides, it’s the only way I can justify “pain!” xo
Charlotte, I am so, totally loving your good wishes and Namastes. Thank you for the reminder that I can take some credit! xo
Thanks, Sherelle. We all have our struggles and tough days and tough moments, and I am loving that we can be here to help prop each other up. The comments on this post made my day – and helped me feel a little big stronger! xo
To say I am “off” when I don’t get up early enough was a polite way to say what you said – I am a raving lunatic when I sleep too late! Recently, I have been sleeping later and later -because I need the sleep – it’s such a toggle, right?
If only that client knew what I did to get to that office and make a put of coffee 🙂