I could feel my heart pounding as I take long, deep inhalations to try to normalize my breathing. My chest fluttered. I decide to walk instead of sit still, keep moving while my overworked respiratory system normalizes.
I’ve felt this way before. Every now and then while going at a run too fast and too hard, I’d find myself at this point of exhaustion. I’d always said that if I could die running, I’d die happy. Not that I’d want that to happen right now. Maybe in 40 years or so, during an ultra or a triathalon, perhaps. Besides, how badass would that be to run 100 miles in one pop in my 80’s? My inner John Wayne smiles.
Except I haven’t just run 100 miles. I’ve swum 10 laps across the town pool. I’m a little bit afraid that this in itself may have just given me a heart attack.
I lie on a chaise and Google “heart attack symptoms” on my phone.
“Pressure, tightness, pain, or a squeezing or aching sensation in your chest or arms that may spread to your neck, jaw or back)”…”A feeling of fullness, nausea, indigestion, heartburn or abdominal pain”…”Shortness of breath”…”Sweating or a cold sweat…”
I realize I’m being an alarmist. I’m just winded. I was arrogant about getting into the pool. I thought how hard could it be to swim a few laps? I had no idea that a few hundred yards of freestyle took so much effort.
I’ve always said I didn’t like to swim. But that’s not true. I do like to swim. I love disappearing under water and just going. I love that I can be in the middle of the town pool but at the same time, feel like I’m in the middle of nowhere. I love the sound of the water rushing around me.
Saying I didn’t like to swim was my cover for not being very good at it.
Although throwing myself at it full throttle isn’t the way to improve. Nor is something being too difficult any reason to give up.
I’ll pace myself. I’ll take it slowly. I’ll try not to get impatient with my progress or my lack thereof. Maybe I’ll swim 11 laps tomorrow or maybe I’ll swim 8. One step forward and then two steps back.
That’s life, right?
Sorry, but I was laughing at the image of you googling “heart attack symptoms” at the pool.
There is something magical about the water, the way it softly makes its way over and around us, leaving temporary eddies and whirlpools in our wake.
Yes, take baby steps, or baby laps, and I have no doubt you’ll get where you want to be. 🙂
Kim recently posted…The 5 Why’s: A simple problem-solving technique
The water is magical – and yes! Even I am laughing at myself for Googling heart attack symptoms!
I used to swim all the time and was really good at it, but when I jumped in this summer (after years out of the pool) I went full throttle and felt like I was going to have a heart attack!
The next time I went I swam more slowly with a few fast laps. During the slower ones I tried to focus on form.
It’s such a great form of exercise and movement, but you are right… one step forward, two steps back. That’s exactly how it feels to me whenever I get back in to swim.
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I’m going more slowly now – what a difference! It’s still challenging but I come out of the water being able to breathe. I have grown to love swimming this summer so very much!
Ha. I hear ya. I’ve heard that swimming a mile equates to running four. Keep at it. Whenever I take a break from the pool, it takes a few swims to feel like I get my conditioning back. I’d love to make it there 3 times a week. Now I know you’re swimming maybe we could keep each other in the water?
Jamie@southmainmuse recently posted…Dancing in the Fairy Ring.
I love the idea of us keeping each other in the water! Let’s do this!
I used to be able to swim, but I haven’t been in the pool to swim by myself in years. I loved that feeling of gliding through the water – your post reminds me of that. But I know if I were to try to swim laps now, I would probably be turning to Google, too. 🙂
Keep going, Ilene. It will get easier.
Kim recently posted…Jump The Waves
It comes back fast. Each day I can go a little further. And yes – gliding through the water is a great feeling!
I tried to swim laps a few years ago (when I was actually in decentish shape), and I was blown away by how hard it is. I swam on swim team for years…grew up with a pool, so I was part fish, but something about trying to do it as an adult was HARD. The way you describe being under water is so true.-Ashley
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I feel like when I was a kid I was a really strong swimmer too and I don’t know what happened! But I’ve grown to love it this summer. I’ll keep at it!
I adore swimming! And now that Sam has passed HIS swim test, I can do laps while he dog paddles nearby at the Y. I’m still right with him, plus the lifeguards, (every one of whom knows him on a first name basis, as in “Sam, quit running; Sam, you MUST take the swim test before you jump off that diving board again; Sam, quit running; Sam, the slide pool is too deep buddy, you have to take the swim test; Sam, quit running; Sam, why won’t you take the swim test? You’ve got this easy!”) have eagle eyes on him in particular. He got this string of high fives when he FINALLY took the damned test and passed it on his first try. He kept telling them, “I nearly drowned! But then I lived after all and I passed.”
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I am so glad Sam passed his test. Isn’t it the best when the kids can do their own thing and you can do yours while you’re all at the pool together? This is t he summer I can swim laps for the same reason.
I think I’m probably a terrible swimmer – my childhood inability to just “let go” made my swimming and skiing lessons nearly impossible. I’ve never seen an instructor give up before.
Ah, one day. I do know how to do simple strokes and keep my head above the water, of course. My daughter is going for her first swimming lessons this summer and I hope she fares better than I did!
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I think it’s great that Scarlet is getting swim lessons. I think the younger they start the better. All of my kids have had them and it made a huge difference. And I’m a pretty terrible swimmer too 🙂 I had a fake heart attack for crying out loud!
Swimming seems like it should be a lot easier than it is. But your body tells you otherwise when your mid-lap! Pace yourself and keep at it. I’m sure you’ll get where you want to be in no time. Don’t be giving yourself any heart attacks, Ilene!
I am pacing myself better since the heart attack scare. Huge difference!
I don’t think I ever really swim as an adult. I more float and frolic. I’m very type B.
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Frolicking is great in the pool! I’m all for it!
My hint? Swim like you walk, not how you run. Google will thank you for it !
Your advice rules! I changed my pace and it made all the difference! No ambulances needed at the town pool!
Just be proud of the fact that you are in the pool!! I used to love swimming, but now it sort of intimidates me – so I admire you. And I laugh along with you about the heart attack symptoms googling!
Leah Davidson recently posted…July 1 Weekend
I felt really intimidated too! Isn’t that something? And yes, googling heart attack symptoms from my chaise lounge. Who ever thought?
I love this post and agree with every word. I need to get in touch with my inner John Wayne. Really, a perfect post.
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Aw – thanks friend! I hope you find him!
The thought of swimming 10 laps sounds so exhausting to me! I am not a strong swimmer…but yes I would like to be better so I do just need to go for it.
Go for it! Let me know how you make out!
Kudos for getting back into lap swimming! Love Kim’s thought to take baby laps and before you know it, you’ll be gliding down the lane.
I’ve been swimming laps regularly for years, but we recently joined a new aquatic center with a 50-meter pool. I forgot how different it is to swim 50 meters vs. 25 yards or meters. The first time I got in the pool, I got about 35 meters and thought I would never get to the wall! It was pretty humbling but a great workout!
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I’m doing 25’s right now and I have to rest in between. Today a did a few laps consecutively and it wore me out! That’s awesome that you swim regularly!
I love swimming as well. I love that feeling that you describe of being in the middle of the town pool and in the middle of nowhere at the same time. Keep at it, you will love the end result! Plus swimming is so much smarter this time of year than say…training for a half marathon, which is what I am doing and it is so hot and humid it is torture. Swim baby swim!
KC
KC @ The Real Thing with the Coake Family recently posted…Real Family Fun #22
Wow! You’re doing a 13.1? That’s exciting – although I agree that it feels better in the pool this time of year than on the road. Can’t wait to hear about your training progress!
I feel that feeling when running a game up the court these days. I am not the same bball player I was in college!
Joi @ Rx Fitness Lady recently posted…Why I Think Everyone Should Take a Vacation
I bet you crush it on the court, girl. Just saying!
We all need to mix up the exercise routine every once in awhile, right? It challenges our mind and body in new and different ways, and it also humbles us. That is certainly what I’m experiencing right now with yoga. 😉
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I really can’t wait to hear more about you and yoga!
When I was little, we had a pool and I was a regular fish. Then I saw a movie where there was an alligator in the pool and that destroyed it for me. Even now as an adult, I look before I jump in…I know that sounds ridiculous and it is ridiculous, but I still do it. I am sure you are laughing…I am laughing as I am writing this, because it sounds ludicrous. I guess its more habit than anything at this point. We have a pool now and I do swim, but not a lot. Mostly I just sit and watch the kids.
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I’m not laughing! I get that! I’d still be looking for that alligator too!
I need an inner John Wayne! What a great image! I’m impressed you even tried to swim. I bet I wouldn’t make one lap. And one step forward, two back? My life exactly! Wonderful post!
Mary @ A Teachable Mom recently posted…Falling In Love With Boys
Let’s hold hands as we take forward and backward steps together, shall we? We can make up a dance!
I think it’s wonderful that you’ve gone back into the pool.
I love the water. Just not swimming laps. 🙂
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I am all about the water these days! I get why you love it!
I am not a pool person, but I do it for my kids. They have no idea how exhausting it is to just tread water in the deep end so I can catch them jumping off the diving board or going down the slide!
Rabia @ TheLiebers recently posted…Five Minute Friday: Present
Chasing after the kids in the pool is hard! That’s enough physical activity if you ask me!
HA! Yes- swimming is an entirely different work out! I used to swim 100 laps a day… now I can barely get through five. Aging sucks. So does down right laziness for me! Keep it up and I bet a million bucks you will be racing lap after lap after beautiful therapeutic lap…
Cause that is just how you are. Fierce. Diva. 😉
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100 laps a day! Well you are my idol if you weren’t already! That’s a lot! I don’t know about racing lap after lap but I’ll keep at it. I love the pool. Calm, peaceful, exhilarating, and keeps me out of trouble 🙂
Dude I could never done that many laps! I do wish I was a better swimmer…it is never too late right?
Natalie recently posted…My Baby is not a Baby Anymore
Believe me it’s never too late! I’m loving the water these days and it’s been a few decades since I’ve been in it!
I swim and combination of the crawl and breaststroke, because while I can go forever, no one ever taught me any strokes. The caveat is it makes my neck hurt!
Single Mom in the South recently posted…Mom Guilt: You Are Never Too Old
I am trying to work on form – but it’s hard to maintain good form and keep breathing at the same time!