Tangled

Tangled2

Change is hard, y’all.

From having to drive 40 miles to get to the nearest Target and 600 miles to find good pizza, to having to deal with my massive tangle of unruly hair, due to Southeastern humidity.

It’s a war y’all.  Every day, it’s a war between me and my hair.

I have this blow dryer you see, that could probably be classified as a lethal weapon.   My hair dryer could take down anything you buy at the gun and ammo shop, for sure.

It weighs at least ten pounds, people.  At least.

I spend a good fifteen minutes with this bad boy on any given day that I want to leave the house without it looking like I stuck my finger in a socket.

And while I haven’t stuck my finger in a socket lately, the ridiculously high service capacity to run my blow dryer caused all of the sockets in my bedroom to die.

Which caused me to have to run outside to the fuse box and reset the breaker.

Which in turn, caused an angry yellow jacket with a hive under the electrical box to sting me on the ring finger of my left hand.

Seriously, y’all.  Seriously.

At first, there was just a little bit of swelling, and then, there was a little more swelling, which I didn’t even notice since the internet seemed to go down the same time I tripped the breaker.

And while I really didn’t seem to notice that within hours, my swollen finger sprouted a rash, I absolutely noticed having no internet in the house.

Not having internet made me a little crazy.

I tried unplugging and replugging the internet cable and router into various outlets and cable sockets in the house and I had no luck.

These intermittent internet outtages were not unusual for where I live. So I decided to drive to Wilmington to pick up a laptop of mine that was under repair – the irony being that without internet, it would serve little use to me.

But it got my mind off things.  For a while.

When I returned from Wilmington, there was still no internet.

But my bee stung finger was twice its normal size.

And by the next day it was turning purple.

“Bless your heart,” said the receptionist at the doctor’s office when I held up my finger.

That’s when I knew it was bad.

“We have to get some circulation back in that finger,” said my doctor…

Right before the nurse came in with a steroid injection.

That she shot into my ass.

For real, ya’ll.  For real.

So here I am, one steroid injection, two pharmacy and one allergic reaction lab work prescriptions later, all in the name of getting the frizz out of my hair.

Vanity kills, y’all.

Oh, and as far as the internet is concerned, I had it all along.  The wireless router shorted out when the power tripped.  But I could connect directly with a cable wire without a problem.

Sometimes, the things we desperately think we need or don’t have are right under our noses people.  Right under our noses.

And right under our well-coiffed frizz free hair, for that matter.

Namaste, ya’ll.


Comments

Tangled — 95 Comments

    • Now that is the perfect pun if I ever heard one! And yes, as crazy a reaction as I had to the sting, it fortunately was no worse than it was. And I have internet – so really, no complains about anything!

  1. Oh Ilene, I couldn’t help laughing while reading this post. Somehow the ya’lls add a whole other element to the story. But your poor finger, yikes! The things we do for our hair (though I’ll admit, I’ve given up on drying mine June-August, or when we have freak 90-degree weather at the beginning of September like we had on Wednesday…I refuse to sweat to make my hair look somewhat decent for five minutes).
    Bev recently posted…ReflectionMy Profile

    • You know, at the end of the day, my drying and primping gives me great hair for about 15 minutes at best – especially with this humidity. Now, if only I had taken this pragmatic approach last Thursday….

      And the “y’all’s,” I love them. Leave it to an arrogant Jersey girl to decide to own “ya’ll” after only living here for 4 weeks 🙂

  2. BLESS YOUR HEART!!!!
    Oh, man…we should have warned you about the hornets. They are the WORST! 🙁

    I’m like you, without my hairdryer my hair looks like fresh hell. I finally found one that wasn’t too heavy, though, because I have the muscle strength of a toddler.
    Hang in there! –Lisa

    • Oh, Lisa – this humidity! And yeah, the hair thing and the hornets! And the “Bless Your Hearts!” It’s all good. My finger is no longer purple and more importantly, I’m back online 🙂

    • Thanks Kim! Yeah, it was all about the hair…which led to the next and the next. I may need to rethink the blow drying thing – especially if it’s going to mess with my internet!

    • I was a bit of a raving lunatic on Thursday – so much so that I didn’t even notice my finer! And then when I realized I had internet and just no wireless, I was so happy to be online, that I didn’t even notice my finger…hence to trip to the emergency clinic on Saturday! But yes, if possible, I’d like to lose the frizz, keep the internet, and heal the finger – but not necessarily in that order 🙂

    • Thanks, Rabia! I have taken to the “ya’lls” for sure. I think “Bless your heart” might be next along with putting a Bojangles app on my phone. When in Rome…

    • Thank you for the great thoughts on uninterrupted internet access. I’ve had some troubles there. I’m a little spoiled leaving my Fios connection behind in Jersey. But so far, it’s worth the minor inconvenience – event though it felt more like a tragedy last Thursday!

    • Haha! I LOVE my skull cap! It’s a little hot down here for one right now…maybe I could find one in moisture wicking material though? That might work! And thanks for the healing thoughts on all parts of my anatomy 🙂

    • Like a true blogger, at some point, after the bee sting on Thursday, I was like “I have to blog about this..” and then after taking the shot in my you know where yesterday, I was like, “I’m totally blogging about this.” and I love me some “ya’lls.” As a “southern belle,” I feel so entitled to them! And yes, love Dana’s idea!

    • Thanks my friend! I brought myself a super sized bottle of Nexxus Humectress leave in conditioner today where of all places? Walmart 🙂 Where else would a southern gal shop? And love right back at you!

    • Well, the finger is no longer purple and I have internet back. So that’s two down! Now, it’s just me facing the frizz! But that’s enough of a battle for any woman, right? 🙂

    • I think I am going to have to pick up some flat out for sure! Priorities, right? Thanks for the good thoughts my friend! Finger and tush are both on the mend!

  3. How did I not know you were a NJ girl when we met at BBC? I knew you relocated to my neck o’ the woods, but didn’t grasp the NJ part, oops.

    And holy, y’all really does creep in so quickly. I will say that I write it more frequently than I say it, so I kind of feel better about that. And we have been down here for 7+ years. 😉

    So sorry about your finger! Ow. Poor thing.
    Andrea recently posted…Where I’m at.My Profile

    • We met soooo briefly at BBC that it would have been easy to miss! It’s funny because I’ve been meaning to shout out to you where you get good bagels and pizza in this part of the world….I’m beginning to think I’m SOL until I trek north for Thanksgiving!

  4. Oh my dear! Yeah, I should have warned you about the humidity. It’s horrible and what you end up doing is buying lots of antifrizz products because even the blow dryer heat will get to you eventually. And as for the sting…you are strong woman! I would have been panicking from the moment it happened LOL glad you’re okay though…love the hair color by the way 🙂
    Krystal recently posted…Trying to Get InMy Profile

    • Yeah, I think I’m gong to have to start timing my blow drying time or something so I don’t fry my hair out down here! As for the hair color you see in the pic, thanks. I think the photo editing I did turned those streaks a little more red than they actually are in real life. I may have to bring the photo into my stylist because I kind of like the way it looks here!

  5. Oh my goodness Ilene. I’m so glad that the reaction wasn’t worse – to the bee sting I mean. Thank goodness I have stick straight Asian hair! I’m glad that things worked out and that there was internet all along. I think that that would have freaked me out more than the sting. xox
    Christine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted…Little Surfer DudesMy Profile

    • The no internet TOTALLY freaked me out more than the sting! Which is why I barely noticed the sting until my finger turned purple! Ha! But all is good now – hair, internet, and finger. Thanks my friend! xo

    • I love the “y’all’s” too obviously! They are just so much fun and after a whopping 4 weeks living in North Carolina I feel so…entitled to them! And yes, hair serum for sure!

    • You may be onto something with the braids. Pigtails are my running/yoga/beach look. Perhaps I should just keep them in for the duration of the day!

  6. I enjoyed this so much especially the y’all’s ..sorry about you finger and your butt lol hope your feeling better. Now for the hair if your not a fan of the ponytail try getting a keratin treatment which a few friends have looks beautiful but I don’t have 200 every few months I use believe it or not suave keratin infusion shampoo and conditioner about 5 each and my hair is smoother along with a flat iron it looked so smooth even in jersey humity not sure if it would work down there 🙂

    • Gerilyn, next time I’m in Walmart, which will be about 3 hours from now – LOL – I’m picking me up some Suave. Heck, it’s worth the investment even if it doesn’t work down here! And it’s a lot cheaper than those in salon Keratin treatments! Thanks for the shout out. It’s all good down here, and loving the y’alls! xo

  7. OMGOSH I am LAUGHING SOOOOO HARD reading your adorable y’alls and how you penned this piece. OMOGSH it was just freaking (FREAKING) awesome y’all!! You poor poor frizzy haired, purple fingered, ouchy butt, southern LADY!!!

    But hey- that picture is so FREAKING beautiful of you. Just breathtaking. LOVE the tatoos too. Hot mama you are!!!!!

    Oh how I wish I lived down the street… I think we would both be rolling on the floor laughing in frustration and down right pathetic giddyness.

    Eat chocolate. Drink wine. Repeat.
    Chris Carter recently posted…Devotional Diary: Be Somebody’s AngelMy Profile

    • Oh, Chris! I love you! And I love your sweet, sweet words. And I love your advice. Except I don’t think I’m supposed to drink wine on these antibiotics and steroid meds I’m on! But I’m thinking chocolate is OK….

  8. Ok, the story was well worth waiting for. Of course you’re still such a babe, frizzy hair and purple finger have nothing on you. I remember in my childhood house, I couldn’t blow dry while having a light on. And blow drying is when I do some of my best reading. (best multi-taking ever) Do people ever just blow dry? Or do they use their iPhones or read a book like I do?
    Tamara recently posted…Ladies Only Blog Share Link Party: The Plus One Event.My Profile

    • Thank you my friend! I have to say, I got some great suggestions on styling products in this comment thread to hopefully prevent future bouts with frizz!

      I have never multi-tasked while blow drying – but you might have just inspired me!

    • I just found out that with my Red Card, I can get free shipping from Target.com! Although there is still nothing like browsing those aisles. It’st just not the same at Walmart for me….yet.

    • Ha! The only good thing about the long hair is that I have the ponytail option, which goes away when my hair is shorter. So there’s that. But…I have to dry it for so long that we lose power in the house..so there’s that as well. Oh, well. It’s “just” hair, right?

      • I loved my long hair. LOVED it. I never thought I’d cut it. And then I found out I could donate to Locks of Love. And a stylist lied and said I’d still have plenty if she cut it to donate.

        I spent the first week in horror, and after that, I fell in love. Now, I play with my cut kind of regularly
        Jester Queen recently posted…Mornings With MerrimansMy Profile

        • I would love to donate to Locks of Love one day! My oldest did it when she was in kindergarten. I was so proud of her! A few more inches and I’d probably be game!

  9. Oh man that sounds painful! The yellow jacket sting…not the internet…well I guess that is painful too! I hope you are all better now…with a hair dryer that works, internet, and a finger that isn’t swollen. Heck throw in a glass a wine with all that!
    Natalie recently posted…12 Months and Growing…My Profile

  10. The hair. My daughter straightens hers with a iron everyday. I’ve decided to embrace my inner wave that I’ve fought my entire life. Moving is hard. Adjusting is hard. But I wouldn’t give up our move to a small town 15 years ago from Midtown Atlanta for anything. You’ll adjust to the pace of life and it’s so wonderful to have people who notice and care when you haven’t been around. Or keep an eye out for your kids.
    Jamie@southmainmuse recently posted…Try on dresses to see if Owww or Wow.My Profile

    • Loving the life down here Jamie! I love the small town feeling and that even after a month, I know people and people know me. It’s different than what I’m used to and awesome. The hair frizz? Not so awesome, but a small price to pay!

    • Thanks Christie! Yeah, Jersey was humid but not like this! A minor adjustment..and one that will be much less painful once I buy the right hair products…

    • I didn’t mind losing circulation in my finger half as much as I minded losing internet! Priorities, Allie, you know? And now, after reading all of the great anti frizz suggestions in the comment thread here, I went to Walmart today and stocked up. So, I’m good, ya’ll! 🙂

  11. Is it wrong that I chuckled with each y’all? Hoping the finger is better soon (because I know the hair won’t be…likely ever if you’re south my friend).

    I’m embarrassed to say that as you wrote “Vanity Kills” I couldn’t stop singing the ABC version of the song. I just love Martin Fry – and his suits.

    Here’s hoping your tomorrow is a better one.
    Melissa Burton recently posted…10 Tips To Conquer The Next Lululemon Warehouse SaleMy Profile

  12. It’s not wrong at all! I chuckle with every “y’all!” That’s part of why I write them! And leave it to you to come up with a great 80’s song reference to compliment my post! Thanks for your good thoughts, friend! Things are definitely looking up! xo

    • I’m loving the y’alls too! I definitely write them more than I say them, at least for now! And I’d trade frizzy hair secrets with you any day, lady!

  13. oh- my darlin’, one day- when you gonna figure out that humidity down here just happens, frizzy hair just is, thought we talked about this already?? LOL. screw a blow dryer, down by the coast they aren’t worth a darn… 🙂 sorry sweet pea, believe you, me, I get it & I am SO sorry about the spotty internet on the island… LOVE Wilmington, it’s not that far a drive for ya, lots to do downtown, want good fudge go to Kilwins- downtown & I went to college there… ok, enough babbling, until next time, enjoying your y’alls, darlin’. xoxo.
    Amber Day Hicks recently posted…RoundaboutsMy Profile

    • Wilmington is like OZ for me. It’s the wizard that has everything I could possibly want, from Target to Starbucks to Trader Joes and Whole Foods. It’s just nice to know it’s nearby! And the hair? Yeah. Although today mine held up great with that Suave Keratin that Gerilyn told me to buy!

    • Found a great doctor right here on the Island! Of course the emergency was on a Saturday when they were closed 🙂 But they told me where to go and it was also close. And yes, thank goodness for Wilmington!

    • I was way more pissed about the internet than my finger! Spoken like a true blogger, I guess. I’m sorry for your pizza situation. I commiserate entirely.

    • I didn’t even know about “Bless Your heart” until I moved here! Soon, they’ll be rolling off my tongue like water along with the “ya’ll’s!” Yeah, the bee sting was crazy but not as crazy as all of it put together – and in retrospect, awfully fun to blog about!

  14. I’m sorry, but I died over this. Died. First, I feel your pain on the Southern frizz. I really do. I have naturally wavy hair that tends to be more frizzy than wavy, and blow-drying my hair requires that same 15 minutes with a large round brush (which I finally learned to use).

    Second, “That’s when I knew it was bad.” HAHAHAHAHA! “Bless your heart” is big down here, and you’re right…though I don’t think I’ve ever said it (still somewhat of a Northern lady myself), when Southerners say it, it means it’s bad. I just cracked up at your writing about it…and all the y’alls. LOL (I have friends who tease me since I still, 10 years later, use “y’all” and “wicked” in the same sentence. lol)

    Third, I’m so sorry about your sting! Those effers are TERRIBLE!!! We have some (still trying to figure out what type they are) that look like 2″-long yellow jackets. They’re huge. The size of a baby carrot, and they destroy stink bugs. That’s the ONLY reason they even live to see the light of day around my house. Stink bugs suck. (Have you been swarmed yet???) So glad you got that finger taken care of, even if it was at the expense of your bum.
    Melissa @ Live, Love, & Run recently posted…On new routines.My Profile

    • Oh, Melissa! The southern frizz! I had no idea! I am now pouring a boatload of Suave Keratin leave in conditioner into my hair every day and that actually seems to help a lot. And the finger is finally its normal size- after a week – and I’m online. So life is good! And yes, I LOVE “y’all.”

    • It’s all good now, Cam. The finger is healed. And the temperature has dropped some since last week – so the frizz is under control…for now 🙂

    • The south agrees with me, for sure. I’m not going anywhere – except up north for a good piece of pizza every 6 months or so. I love my yin yang but my favorite is the sun next to it. I will have to blog about my tattoo stories one day. xo

  15. That was laugh-out-loud funny, especially with the y’alls! Glad to see you’re at least picking up the local language! Sorry about the finger but I totally get it, I bought a new router last week and would have hated to be the Charter guy when we figured out it was their issue and not mine…it’s so HARD when we don’t have internet!
    Stephanie recently posted…First Day of School, My ThoughtsMy Profile

  16. I totally thought I commented on this but I think I only did on FB! I hear you with the hair issues, my friend. I’m glad you got to the doctor. Tangled hair, big hair, straight hair…doesn’t matter. You are still beautiful!
    AnnMarie recently posted…A Word to my FriendsMy Profile

    • I love your comment, my friend. Just love it. Next time I’m feeling tangled down here, I’m going to tell myself I’m boss and amazing and ride it out, whatever it is. xo

  17. Welcome to the SOUTH!!!! The hair Gods hate us here! LOL.. I love how you said after hearing the nurse say “Bless your heart..” You knew it was bad! hahaa.. you are really catching on to this southern thing! ~Leah~ Check out my “Humidity Dairies Post.” I think you will find some solutions! 🙂 ~Leah~

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