Change is hard, y’all.
From having to drive 40 miles to get to the nearest Target and 600 miles to find good pizza, to having to deal with my massive tangle of unruly hair, due to Southeastern humidity.
It’s a war y’all. Every day, it’s a war between me and my hair.
I have this blow dryer you see, that could probably be classified as a lethal weapon. My hair dryer could take down anything you buy at the gun and ammo shop, for sure.
It weighs at least ten pounds, people. At least.
I spend a good fifteen minutes with this bad boy on any given day that I want to leave the house without it looking like I stuck my finger in a socket.
And while I haven’t stuck my finger in a socket lately, the ridiculously high service capacity to run my blow dryer caused all of the sockets in my bedroom to die.
Which caused me to have to run outside to the fuse box and reset the breaker.
Which in turn, caused an angry yellow jacket with a hive under the electrical box to sting me on the ring finger of my left hand.
Seriously, y’all. Seriously.
At first, there was just a little bit of swelling, and then, there was a little more swelling, which I didn’t even notice since the internet seemed to go down the same time I tripped the breaker.
And while I really didn’t seem to notice that within hours, my swollen finger sprouted a rash, I absolutely noticed having no internet in the house.
Not having internet made me a little crazy.
I tried unplugging and replugging the internet cable and router into various outlets and cable sockets in the house and I had no luck.
These intermittent internet outtages were not unusual for where I live. So I decided to drive to Wilmington to pick up a laptop of mine that was under repair – the irony being that without internet, it would serve little use to me.
But it got my mind off things. For a while.
When I returned from Wilmington, there was still no internet.
But my bee stung finger was twice its normal size.
And by the next day it was turning purple.
“Bless your heart,” said the receptionist at the doctor’s office when I held up my finger.
That’s when I knew it was bad.
“We have to get some circulation back in that finger,” said my doctor…
Right before the nurse came in with a steroid injection.
That she shot into my ass.
For real, ya’ll. For real.
So here I am, one steroid injection, two pharmacy and one allergic reaction lab work prescriptions later, all in the name of getting the frizz out of my hair.
Vanity kills, y’all.
Oh, and as far as the internet is concerned, I had it all along. The wireless router shorted out when the power tripped. But I could connect directly with a cable wire without a problem.
Sometimes, the things we desperately think we need or don’t have are right under our noses people. Right under our noses.
And right under our well-coiffed frizz free hair, for that matter.
Namaste, ya’ll.
Oh, my goodness! You are so lucky the sting wasn’t worse. Of course, it’s hard to concentrate when there is no internet. It makes things a little hairy. No pun intended. Okay, maybe.
Carla recently posted…An Evening with Ironman Athletes
Now that is the perfect pun if I ever heard one! And yes, as crazy a reaction as I had to the sting, it fortunately was no worse than it was. And I have internet – so really, no complains about anything!
Oh Ilene, I couldn’t help laughing while reading this post. Somehow the ya’lls add a whole other element to the story. But your poor finger, yikes! The things we do for our hair (though I’ll admit, I’ve given up on drying mine June-August, or when we have freak 90-degree weather at the beginning of September like we had on Wednesday…I refuse to sweat to make my hair look somewhat decent for five minutes).
Bev recently posted…Reflection
You know, at the end of the day, my drying and primping gives me great hair for about 15 minutes at best – especially with this humidity. Now, if only I had taken this pragmatic approach last Thursday….
And the “y’all’s,” I love them. Leave it to an arrogant Jersey girl to decide to own “ya’ll” after only living here for 4 weeks 🙂
BLESS YOUR HEART!!!!
Oh, man…we should have warned you about the hornets. They are the WORST! 🙁
I’m like you, without my hairdryer my hair looks like fresh hell. I finally found one that wasn’t too heavy, though, because I have the muscle strength of a toddler.
Hang in there! –Lisa
Oh, Lisa – this humidity! And yeah, the hair thing and the hornets! And the “Bless Your Hearts!” It’s all good. My finger is no longer purple and more importantly, I’m back online 🙂
Ugh – what a day – just because you were trying to get your hair done!!!
I hope that your finger is better and that the power doesn’t keep going out and internet is a must-have!!! Here’s to a better day!
Kim recently posted…365 Days – Goal Achieved!!!
Thanks Kim! Yeah, it was all about the hair…which led to the next and the next. I may need to rethink the blow drying thing – especially if it’s going to mess with my internet!
You sound so calm. Me, I would have been a raving lunatic. I hope your finger gets better. Here’s to frizz free hair, internet and power sockets that work, and a little more calm for your life!
Michelle recently posted…Ask Away Friday with Dana from Kiss My List
I was a bit of a raving lunatic on Thursday – so much so that I didn’t even notice my finer! And then when I realized I had internet and just no wireless, I was so happy to be online, that I didn’t even notice my finger…hence to trip to the emergency clinic on Saturday! But yes, if possible, I’d like to lose the frizz, keep the internet, and heal the finger – but not necessarily in that order 🙂
Man, the “y’alls” don’t take long to creep into your vocabulary, do they! LOL! I hope your hair, and your finger, and your internet connection all recovery quickly! Namaste!
Rabia @TheLiebers recently posted…Five Minute Friday: Mercy
Thanks, Rabia! I have taken to the “ya’lls” for sure. I think “Bless your heart” might be next along with putting a Bojangles app on my phone. When in Rome…
Darn hair dryers. I confess I don’t like them and haven’t used one in years. I think that is part of the reason I never want to try to grow my hair again – I don’t think I could go back to blow drying my hair everyday.
Hope you feel better soon. And have lots of uninterrupted internet access. 🙂
Kim recently posted…Finding Our Styles – Guest Post at Coach Daddy
Thank you for the great thoughts on uninterrupted internet access. I’ve had some troubles there. I’m a little spoiled leaving my Fios connection behind in Jersey. But so far, it’s worth the minor inconvenience – event though it felt more like a tragedy last Thursday!
I think you should just wear that cute cap/hat thing you have on in your photo at the top of your blog and call it a day. Fast healing for that finger (and your rear!)
Dana recently posted…Ask Away Friday with Michelle from A Dish of Daily Life
Haha! I LOVE my skull cap! It’s a little hot down here for one right now…maybe I could find one in moisture wicking material though? That might work! And thanks for the healing thoughts on all parts of my anatomy 🙂
no poo! look it up 🙂
No..for real????
The humidity is awful, isn’t it?
Cannot believe you had to have a shot! OUCH!
Shell recently posted…It’s Not Polite to Ask for More
This humidity is unreal! My hair is big, girl. Really big. Like as big as the swelling was in my finger…And yeah, that shot! LOL!
You are wicked hilarious, Ilene. (Reading y’all that many times brings the Boston out.) I’m glad you got to the doctor when you did. At least it made a good blog post, right? I agree with Dana. Maybe you should just stick to the skull cap. 🙂
another jennifer recently posted…Philanthropy Friday: Tracking Humankind’s Positive Progress on pplkind
Like a true blogger, at some point, after the bee sting on Thursday, I was like “I have to blog about this..” and then after taking the shot in my you know where yesterday, I was like, “I’m totally blogging about this.” and I love me some “ya’lls.” As a “southern belle,” I feel so entitled to them! And yes, love Dana’s idea!
Leave-in conditioner. Among other things. ;_)
Love from a fellow frizz-tamer … I am glad that you are OK!
Justine recently posted…Life Hacks, and Quinoa Avocado Salad
Thanks my friend! I brought myself a super sized bottle of Nexxus Humectress leave in conditioner today where of all places? Walmart 🙂 Where else would a southern gal shop? And love right back at you!
I have quite the battle with frizz too but I’ve never had an ordeal like this one to go along with it. Glad you’re okay!! xo
Kristen recently posted…Goodbye To My Space In The Blogosphere
Well, the finger is no longer purple and I have internet back. So that’s two down! Now, it’s just me facing the frizz! But that’s enough of a battle for any woman, right? 🙂
Unfortunately southern hospitality and humidity go hand in hand. Next time you make the trek to Target, better look for some Flat Out to fight the frizz!! Hope your finger and your toosh are feeling better. Those shots are the worst!!
Nicole @ Work in Sweats Mama recently posted…Happy 4th Birthday Bean
I think I am going to have to pick up some flat out for sure! Priorities, right? Thanks for the good thoughts my friend! Finger and tush are both on the mend!
How did I not know you were a NJ girl when we met at BBC? I knew you relocated to my neck o’ the woods, but didn’t grasp the NJ part, oops.
And holy, y’all really does creep in so quickly. I will say that I write it more frequently than I say it, so I kind of feel better about that. And we have been down here for 7+ years. 😉
So sorry about your finger! Ow. Poor thing.
Andrea recently posted…Where I’m at.
We met soooo briefly at BBC that it would have been easy to miss! It’s funny because I’ve been meaning to shout out to you where you get good bagels and pizza in this part of the world….I’m beginning to think I’m SOL until I trek north for Thanksgiving!
Oh my dear! Yeah, I should have warned you about the humidity. It’s horrible and what you end up doing is buying lots of antifrizz products because even the blow dryer heat will get to you eventually. And as for the sting…you are strong woman! I would have been panicking from the moment it happened LOL glad you’re okay though…love the hair color by the way 🙂
Krystal recently posted…Trying to Get In
Yeah, I think I’m gong to have to start timing my blow drying time or something so I don’t fry my hair out down here! As for the hair color you see in the pic, thanks. I think the photo editing I did turned those streaks a little more red than they actually are in real life. I may have to bring the photo into my stylist because I kind of like the way it looks here!
Oh my goodness Ilene. I’m so glad that the reaction wasn’t worse – to the bee sting I mean. Thank goodness I have stick straight Asian hair! I’m glad that things worked out and that there was internet all along. I think that that would have freaked me out more than the sting. xox
Christine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted…Little Surfer Dudes
The no internet TOTALLY freaked me out more than the sting! Which is why I barely noticed the sting until my finger turned purple! Ha! But all is good now – hair, internet, and finger. Thanks my friend! xo
I love the ya’lls. You poor thing. We need to get you some serious heavy duty hair serum.
Stevie recently posted…Don’t Mind If I Drool: The Story of a Rescue Dog Part Two
I love the “y’all’s” too obviously! They are just so much fun and after a whopping 4 weeks living in North Carolina I feel so…entitled to them! And yes, hair serum for sure!
Woman, that sounds like SOME hair dryer. Maybe try braids? You don’t sweat for braids and they don’t land you in the emergency clinic.
tammigirl recently posted…Wadsworth Blue-Sky Drive In Movies
You may be onto something with the braids. Pigtails are my running/yoga/beach look. Perhaps I should just keep them in for the duration of the day!
I enjoyed this so much especially the y’all’s ..sorry about you finger and your butt lol hope your feeling better. Now for the hair if your not a fan of the ponytail try getting a keratin treatment which a few friends have looks beautiful but I don’t have 200 every few months I use believe it or not suave keratin infusion shampoo and conditioner about 5 each and my hair is smoother along with a flat iron it looked so smooth even in jersey humity not sure if it would work down there 🙂
Gerilyn, next time I’m in Walmart, which will be about 3 hours from now – LOL – I’m picking me up some Suave. Heck, it’s worth the investment even if it doesn’t work down here! And it’s a lot cheaper than those in salon Keratin treatments! Thanks for the shout out. It’s all good down here, and loving the y’alls! xo
Oh my. Frizz hair, bad sting and allergic reaction, then an internet problems? What a week! Glad your finger is better. Now you just need to find a great humidity hair style!
Leah Davidson recently posted…Sharing Our Story On How We Blended Our Family
I’m going to take Gerilyn’s advice and try Suave Keratin. And I am definitely keeping away from those yellow jackets!
OMGOSH I am LAUGHING SOOOOO HARD reading your adorable y’alls and how you penned this piece. OMOGSH it was just freaking (FREAKING) awesome y’all!! You poor poor frizzy haired, purple fingered, ouchy butt, southern LADY!!!
But hey- that picture is so FREAKING beautiful of you. Just breathtaking. LOVE the tatoos too. Hot mama you are!!!!!
Oh how I wish I lived down the street… I think we would both be rolling on the floor laughing in frustration and down right pathetic giddyness.
Eat chocolate. Drink wine. Repeat.
Chris Carter recently posted…Devotional Diary: Be Somebody’s Angel
Oh, Chris! I love you! And I love your sweet, sweet words. And I love your advice. Except I don’t think I’m supposed to drink wine on these antibiotics and steroid meds I’m on! But I’m thinking chocolate is OK….
Your “Namaste y’all” is killing me!
That sounds like you are living on the edge now, my friend. It’s actually a good place to be in 🙂 xoxo
Kerstin @ Auer Life recently posted…High Note
I am having the time of my life down here. Should have done it years ago, Y’all 🙂
Ok, the story was well worth waiting for. Of course you’re still such a babe, frizzy hair and purple finger have nothing on you. I remember in my childhood house, I couldn’t blow dry while having a light on. And blow drying is when I do some of my best reading. (best multi-taking ever) Do people ever just blow dry? Or do they use their iPhones or read a book like I do?
Tamara recently posted…Ladies Only Blog Share Link Party: The Plus One Event.
Thank you my friend! I have to say, I got some great suggestions on styling products in this comment thread to hopefully prevent future bouts with frizz!
I have never multi-tasked while blow drying – but you might have just inspired me!
Oh my, OUCH. I hope your finger (and hair) get better!
Alison recently posted…Living
Thank you my friend! Every part of me is on the mend!
I hear hornets are no joke, but let me tell you, you lost me at 40 miles to reach the nearest Target. I can’t do it.
Andrea recently posted…Confessions of a Blogger: The Untold Tidbits
I just found out that with my Red Card, I can get free shipping from Target.com! Although there is still nothing like browsing those aisles. It’st just not the same at Walmart for me….yet.
Ok well your hair looks beautiful in that picture if it counts for anything. You have to watch those, bees, & Mosquitos around here friend. Sorry!
Joi @ Rx Fitness Lady recently posted…Old Skool Harmony: A Review of BODYCOMBAT 37
Aw, thanks Joi! I think I had a lot of leave in conditioner that day! That seems to be a must-have in these parts!
Eeegads. You’re going to suffer suffer suffer with long hair down here. There’s a Facebook (or who knows where) meme that has a frizzy haired woman saying, “Hello humidity, I’ve always wanted to look like the lion king.”
Jester Queen recently posted…Passages and Secrets
Ha! The only good thing about the long hair is that I have the ponytail option, which goes away when my hair is shorter. So there’s that. But…I have to dry it for so long that we lose power in the house..so there’s that as well. Oh, well. It’s “just” hair, right?
I loved my long hair. LOVED it. I never thought I’d cut it. And then I found out I could donate to Locks of Love. And a stylist lied and said I’d still have plenty if she cut it to donate.
I spent the first week in horror, and after that, I fell in love. Now, I play with my cut kind of regularly
Jester Queen recently posted…Mornings With Merrimans
I would love to donate to Locks of Love one day! My oldest did it when she was in kindergarten. I was so proud of her! A few more inches and I’d probably be game!
Oh man that sounds painful! The yellow jacket sting…not the internet…well I guess that is painful too! I hope you are all better now…with a hair dryer that works, internet, and a finger that isn’t swollen. Heck throw in a glass a wine with all that!
Natalie recently posted…12 Months and Growing…
A glass of wine sounds so good right now…you have no idea!
The hair. My daughter straightens hers with a iron everyday. I’ve decided to embrace my inner wave that I’ve fought my entire life. Moving is hard. Adjusting is hard. But I wouldn’t give up our move to a small town 15 years ago from Midtown Atlanta for anything. You’ll adjust to the pace of life and it’s so wonderful to have people who notice and care when you haven’t been around. Or keep an eye out for your kids.
Jamie@southmainmuse recently posted…Try on dresses to see if Owww or Wow.
Loving the life down here Jamie! I love the small town feeling and that even after a month, I know people and people know me. It’s different than what I’m used to and awesome. The hair frizz? Not so awesome, but a small price to pay!
Oh, lordy, god bless you. Change is so dang hard and the finger and the shot and the hair. I get it. Thank god I don’t contend with that kind of humidity. It might kill me. Sending you blessings and hugs!
Christie recently posted…Cheryl Strayed’s Wild: Hiking, Surviving, and #TriggeringMyMotherIssues
Thanks Christie! Yeah, Jersey was humid but not like this! A minor adjustment..and one that will be much less painful once I buy the right hair products…
I’m so glad I have straight hair;)
Michelle recently posted…The Comparison Trap
I have straight hair too!
…after about 45 minutes of fighting with mine 🙂
Love it all y’all. I love that this post sounds like you rolled with it all…which I sincerely hope you did but which I know I definitely would NOT have! I hope all is well now…with your hair and everything else!!
Allie Burdick recently posted…VITA-MERICAL or My Blog Commercial
I didn’t mind losing circulation in my finger half as much as I minded losing internet! Priorities, Allie, you know? And now, after reading all of the great anti frizz suggestions in the comment thread here, I went to Walmart today and stocked up. So, I’m good, ya’ll! 🙂
Is it wrong that I chuckled with each y’all? Hoping the finger is better soon (because I know the hair won’t be…likely ever if you’re south my friend).
I’m embarrassed to say that as you wrote “Vanity Kills” I couldn’t stop singing the ABC version of the song. I just love Martin Fry – and his suits.
Here’s hoping your tomorrow is a better one.
Melissa Burton recently posted…10 Tips To Conquer The Next Lululemon Warehouse Sale
It’s not wrong at all! I chuckle with every “y’all!” That’s part of why I write them! And leave it to you to come up with a great 80’s song reference to compliment my post! Thanks for your good thoughts, friend! Things are definitely looking up! xo
You are such a trooper, Miss Diva! One of those things would have sent me over the edge, but all together, I’d need to call off my life for the day! I’m loving your new “y’alls” and want to trade frizzy hair secrets with you soon! xoxo
Mary @ A Teachable Mom recently posted…A Decade of Parenting Lessons
I’m loving the y’alls too! I definitely write them more than I say them, at least for now! And I’d trade frizzy hair secrets with you any day, lady!
oh- my darlin’, one day- when you gonna figure out that humidity down here just happens, frizzy hair just is, thought we talked about this already?? LOL. screw a blow dryer, down by the coast they aren’t worth a darn… 🙂 sorry sweet pea, believe you, me, I get it & I am SO sorry about the spotty internet on the island… LOVE Wilmington, it’s not that far a drive for ya, lots to do downtown, want good fudge go to Kilwins- downtown & I went to college there… ok, enough babbling, until next time, enjoying your y’alls, darlin’. xoxo.
Amber Day Hicks recently posted…Roundabouts
Wilmington is like OZ for me. It’s the wizard that has everything I could possibly want, from Target to Starbucks to Trader Joes and Whole Foods. It’s just nice to know it’s nearby! And the hair? Yeah. Although today mine held up great with that Suave Keratin that Gerilyn told me to buy!
Oh the joys of NC beaches where to get what you really need, you have to go to Wilmington! 🙂 I hope the doctor was a little closer! 🙂 And excellent use of y’all!
Single Mom in the South recently posted…Friday Fragments: On Account of the Thunder
Found a great doctor right here on the Island! Of course the emergency was on a Saturday when they were closed 🙂 But they told me where to go and it was also close. And yes, thank goodness for Wilmington!
I have the same pizza situation. And I would have noticed the swelling, but I would have been way more pissed about the internet outage.
Also, you have way so many comments.
Michael Lombardi recently posted…Auto Instagram Upload
I was way more pissed about the internet than my finger! Spoken like a true blogger, I guess. I’m sorry for your pizza situation. I commiserate entirely.
This was hilarious! So sorry about your bee sting. This post reminds me of the summer I spent in SC with my sister. I have never heard as many “bless your heart” and “Y’all” in my life. Thanks for the good chuckle (at your expense)…bless your heart 🙂
Hope recently posted…The high price of health: paying more does not mean getting more
I didn’t even know about “Bless Your heart” until I moved here! Soon, they’ll be rolling off my tongue like water along with the “ya’ll’s!” Yeah, the bee sting was crazy but not as crazy as all of it put together – and in retrospect, awfully fun to blog about!
I’m sorry, but I died over this. Died. First, I feel your pain on the Southern frizz. I really do. I have naturally wavy hair that tends to be more frizzy than wavy, and blow-drying my hair requires that same 15 minutes with a large round brush (which I finally learned to use).
Second, “That’s when I knew it was bad.” HAHAHAHAHA! “Bless your heart” is big down here, and you’re right…though I don’t think I’ve ever said it (still somewhat of a Northern lady myself), when Southerners say it, it means it’s bad. I just cracked up at your writing about it…and all the y’alls. LOL (I have friends who tease me since I still, 10 years later, use “y’all” and “wicked” in the same sentence. lol)
Third, I’m so sorry about your sting! Those effers are TERRIBLE!!! We have some (still trying to figure out what type they are) that look like 2″-long yellow jackets. They’re huge. The size of a baby carrot, and they destroy stink bugs. That’s the ONLY reason they even live to see the light of day around my house. Stink bugs suck. (Have you been swarmed yet???) So glad you got that finger taken care of, even if it was at the expense of your bum.
Melissa @ Live, Love, & Run recently posted…On new routines.
Oh, Melissa! The southern frizz! I had no idea! I am now pouring a boatload of Suave Keratin leave in conditioner into my hair every day and that actually seems to help a lot. And the finger is finally its normal size- after a week – and I’m online. So life is good! And yes, I LOVE “y’all.”
Two words for you, sister… Frizz Ease. Embrace your curls like I did 🙂
Kristen Daukas recently posted…Fun with Teens: SCarowinds!
You totally rock your curls, girl. You’re like a walking advertisement for them!
Oh my goodness! This was hilarious. You know, outside of your purple, painful finger. Sorry. Maybe it’s time to embrace the curls. For a little while, at least. Or until it’s too cold for yellow jackets to be guarding the electrical box.
Cam | Bibs & Baubles recently posted…You’ve been brainwashed! Jaden Smith says so…
It’s all good now, Cam. The finger is healed. And the temperature has dropped some since last week – so the frizz is under control…for now 🙂
I heard joy in between the lines. I think the south agrees with you… minus the stings and injection shots et al.
p.s. Your yin yang. I want one!!!
Martha recently posted…School Supplies. Just Do It!
The south agrees with me, for sure. I’m not going anywhere – except up north for a good piece of pizza every 6 months or so. I love my yin yang but my favorite is the sun next to it. I will have to blog about my tattoo stories one day. xo
That was laugh-out-loud funny, especially with the y’alls! Glad to see you’re at least picking up the local language! Sorry about the finger but I totally get it, I bought a new router last week and would have hated to be the Charter guy when we figured out it was their issue and not mine…it’s so HARD when we don’t have internet!
Stephanie recently posted…First Day of School, My Thoughts
No internet is like the kiss of death. I am above and beyond dependent – so much so that I didn’t even notice the finger!
I totally thought I commented on this but I think I only did on FB! I hear you with the hair issues, my friend. I’m glad you got to the doctor. Tangled hair, big hair, straight hair…doesn’t matter. You are still beautiful!
AnnMarie recently posted…A Word to my Friends
Why does it always come back to hair???? And you are so sweet. And simply beautiful as well. xo
Ilene, you are boss and amazing. And while maybe you are feeling tangled, your words are perfect, and I am living in awe of everything you are figuring out–from bee stings to beyond…
Meredith recently posted…When Space is Required
I love your comment, my friend. Just love it. Next time I’m feeling tangled down here, I’m going to tell myself I’m boss and amazing and ride it out, whatever it is. xo
Welcome to the SOUTH!!!! The hair Gods hate us here! LOL.. I love how you said after hearing the nurse say “Bless your heart..” You knew it was bad! hahaa.. you are really catching on to this southern thing! ~Leah~ Check out my “Humidity Dairies Post.” I think you will find some solutions! 🙂 ~Leah~