There’s laundry that needs to be folded.
There are dishes in the sink and papers scattered on the floor, begging for organization and an impossibly long list of to-do’s I need to conquer before we move. Packing, collecting medical records from an array of doctors, school registrations, goodbyes.
While these tasks beckon me, the call isn’t loud enough to pull me away from my laptop.
My oasis. My happy place.
The world could fall apart around me and I’d still blog.
This blog has morphed over the past year and a half. It began as a venue to explore the elements of balanced living and finding happiness within…until my life was thrown completely out of balance.
These days I chronicle my unbalanced life. From eating too much pizza to diving back into swimming, too fast too soon, to unexpected tragedy and death.
I’ve grown to learn that we can live completely unbalanced lives, full of monkey wrenches and disappointments and heartbreak, and we can still be happy. We can have great days for absolutely no reason and we don’t have to use misfortune or things not going our way as an excuse to have bad ones.
We don’t have to let situations or people take us down.
We can prepare for really big life changes and not be afraid.
There are no difficult days, maybe difficult moments.
Music helps get me through them. As do headstands.
We can trust that things will unfold as they’re meant to. Not in some hokey, genie in a bottle kind of way, but with a faith that begins with a sense of groundedness within ourselves and a sense of belonging on this earth. It’s called owning it. And these days I do.
I’ve kept journals since girlhood, the marble design cover kind. I’ve written it all down, no matter how ugly the truth seemed at the time. I was my own best secret keeper.
I have less secrets these days. Now, my journal is a web page.
Loneliness does not come from having no people around one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself.
~Carl Jung~
With you as a witness I move forward, some days boldly, and some days more steadily than others. With you as a witness, I share the things that are important to me. The things that have helped me make sense of this life, the things that have made me less afraid of life, the things that continue to give me life.
I blog for you.
I blog for me.
Together, we can do this.
-Namaste
Xo
Ilene
This post was inspired by Why I am Smiling by Kim at Co-Pilot Mom. It’s a lovely tribute to blogging and some of the gifts she’s reaped from it over time. Blogging makes Kim smile. Blogging makes me smile. And Kim’s lovely blog makes me smile, always.
Thank you so much for the kind words, my friend. Your blog makes me smile, too.
Blogging really is a gift. I love that by sharing ourselves, we somehow connect with others whom we never would have met in our regular, everyday lives. I love the sense of “me too!” that we have when we read the posts of our fellow bloggers. I love knowing that we are none of us alone – whether in challenges or victories. 🙂
Kim recently posted…Five Things – Old School Blogging July
I love that “me too” as well. Sometimes I will find myself nodding my head as I read a blog post because I am connecting so strongly with what the person has written. And I can not say enough great things about your blog. xo
I absolutely love the “with you as a witness” section. It has the power to make the reader a part of your process.
Jester Queen recently posted…Furniture Gallery
Yes! I would love my readers to be a part of my process. I love the thought of us walking together through this stuff!
I’m so glad you have this space…and I’m glad I get to be a part of it. I love reading your journey b/c you are so real and genuine.
Natalie recently posted…The 10 Month Update-A Month Late!
You have no idea how touched I am by that comment! Sending you a big hug! xo
Beautiful in every way as always. You know what makes *me* smile?! Reading your blog. And remembering how we officially met in real life in a bathroom! :)-Ashley
thedoseofreality recently posted…“Arie” Ready To Choose The Next Bachelor Now, Fleiss?!
I loved meeting you in real life – and the thought of walking out of that stall and seeing you standing there makes me happy. xo
I’m with you 100%. Now I’m not saying that I know what I’m doing, but I’m trying to get there 🙂
I find that I am happiest when I am daring and when I cease the moment. Trust that gut feeling. ‘Cause there are always plenty of monkey wrenches!
I love that seize the moment feeling when I just “do” and not “think” quite as much as I would otherwise. The gut feeling is never wrong! I’m glad you forge on despite the monkey wrenches too!
It makes me happy to see a blog post named “happy.” My word for the day would probably be “tired” but there’s a bit of “happy” somewhere under there too.
Have a great day!
Rabia @ TheLiebers recently posted…Great Excuses for Getting Out of Bed After Bedtime
I can only hope you’re tired from doing things that made you happy!
There is a lot to say for blogging: sharing, lightening the load, meeting great people like you, helping others and encouraging. I really enjoy your writing and am so glad we met, Ilene!
Kim recently posted…Double delightfulness, and an exciting announcement, too
I’m so glad we met too! And yes, I love to encourage others, and I love the encouragement I get from you. xo
This is really lovely. Yes, we can find happy when life is completely out of balance. I’m glad you write and I’m glad you blog and I definitely feel the very same way.
Laura at Mommy Miracles recently posted…When You Just Know
Thank you Laura. It’s such a gift, this blogging stuff. I had no idea what I was doing when I started, but I’m glad I’m still doing it for sure!
Ilene, I used to journal, too. I have a stack of comp books like yours, and it was the best therapy ever. I stopped soon after I had my first child, because I just didn’t have time (actually, I just didn’t know how to MAKE time). Now, I’m thinking I should get back into it.
Blogging is good therapy, too. I’m so glad I started – it’s a nice way to look at things a little more objectively somehow, and it also makes me HAPPY – especially if I’ve given someone a good laugh at my expense.
I enjoy reading your blog, and appreciate how you share your life with people in a way that inspires and motivates.
Julie recently posted…So The Kid Wanted To Do A Craft…
Thank you Julie! I still keep those marble journals and I love them! They give me permission to “let it all out” on the page, and then there is the more objective version on the blog, to borrow your word. Somewhere between the journal and the blog, I’ve explored a situation, and come to terms with it enough (if that’s what the situation required) that I can write about the lesson I learned. I love sharing this stuff! Thank you for being a part of it!
I’m fairly new to your blog but what I’ve read I really enjoy – I’m glad that you share your journal this way!!
Kim recently posted…Is it about the Journey or the end Destination?
Thank you Kim! It’s great to get glimpse at someone else’s life through blogging. I’m always feeling inspired by the stories I read!
You are such a beautiful writer with beautiful messages to share. Thanks for being so honest and keeping life in perspective. I often find myself nodding as I read your words, so I definitely connect to what you are saying. Keep it up. You inspire many.
Kerry recently posted…Why So Many Movie Previews … Especially at Kid Flicks?
Thank you Kerry! I was just saying above to Kim how sometimes I read a blog and find myself nodding as I read it because I am connecting with the words so much. I’m glad my blog makes you nod! That’s a huge compliment!
So glad that you share your journal with us! I’m right with you on living unbalanced AND happy lives. I have a load (or three) of laundry waiting for me, dust bunnies in every corner of my house, and a to-do list that never ends, but when I take a deep breath and look around at all of the wonderful people in my life, I can’t help but be happy.
Nicole @ Work in Sweats Mama recently posted…Sturdy Girl Sports Bra Giveaway
Let’s hear it for dirty laundry and dust bunnies! My house is a wreck right now and I’m a week behind on reading blogs but I had an awesome day at the town pool with my kids and my girlfriends. It’s all good.
Yes!!!! I am here for this post (I’m actually here for all your post). We will hold you accountable and expect for you to continue to blog!
I love that you’re holding me accountable. Yes, I will be right here, Andrea, with many more words, and I thank you for reading them!
So glad you have a happy spot, and so glad it can be shared with us all. It’s so awesome to know that when you are feeling a little low, or a little lonely, there is a blog out there that will just say the right thing to you…your posts do that for me – so inspiring.
Leah Davidson recently posted…Happy 12th Birthday Zach!!
Thank you so much, Leah. I feel so grateful for blogging and for knowing there are other blogs out there that say what I need to hear as well. Like your last quote of the week, come to think of it!
Thanks for blogging for me! And for you. Because if you didn’t blog for you, then I wouldn’t enjoy it so much. I would also still blog if the world fell around me. Do you realize we’ll actually get to meet in 10 days? Eeek!
another jennifer recently posted…Philanthropy Friday: Get a SmilingStart on Your Computer
It’s nine days now! But who’s counting? 🙂
I always love going back to a post from before I “knew” you – it’s always so enlightening. I’m like you – nearly perfect health. I haven’t had a fever since I was in college although I did have a low grade one after Scarlet was born and during Desmond’s birth. That’s another story, though. I love the way you notice your blog evolving and you own it all. An inspiration. And I love Kim’s blog too!
Tamara recently posted…Peek-a-boo.
My blog is crazy different than what my original intention was. But it’s where it’s supposed to be, for sure. This blog has been such a gift. And the love here is amazing. You must feel it too on your page. The way you share yourself with us in incredible.
I love your happy place, Ilene!
Alison recently posted…Cake For Breakfast
And I’m so happy you come to visit me here at my happy place!
I’m glad that you are smiling – it is the things that make us smile that matter the most. The rest can just wait. Glad you share your happy place with us too! 😉
Krystal recently posted…Is it safe to drive with noise cancelling headphones?
The rest can wait…most of the time!
Love your perspective. Blogging is my oasis as well. I was tempted to quit a few times, but almost 5 years later and it’s pretty much clear that blogging has settled deep down in my bones. weeeeee!!!
Yum Yucky recently posted…Icing on the Cake Post-Workout Intensity Drills
Five years! You’re a veteran! I am glad you stuck with it. I hope this settles into my bones as well. It’s a good space to be in!
Should I do headstands??? THat sounds fun. So glad you blog. I Need it!
Headstands are like crack if you ask me! I say we do one as a group at BlogHer!
This post is almost as happy as the news that you’re going to BlogHer!! Balanced or unbalanced, you inspire me!
Mary @ A Teachable Mom recently posted…Falling In Love With Boys
And you inspire me too! And you have no idea the happy dance I did when you told me I’d get to meet you at BlogHer!
I love that you blog and that you share this with us. I love your writing and your stories – balanced and unbalanced. Blogging is a gift and having the opportunity to connect in this unique way is absolutely amazing.
Christine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted…Old School Blogging – List of Fives
I love your comment and it means even more to me – given you’re one of my oldest friends “out here.” I love that we are in this together. xo
This post literally lifted a weight off of my shoulder. It’s like you were personally saying to me “Alexa, it’s ok that you don’t have it all together. Be happy in your chaos!” You always bring a little zen to my life!
Alexa recently posted…Pin It! Tuesday!
Yes! Be happy in your chaos! So long as I’m alive, I’ll be two paces behind…and that’s ok!
I’m so glad that you have your happy place here, but even more glad that I get to experience this with you. It makes me smile to get you know you here.
And I see you will be going to BlogHer next week also?? I must meet you in person!! 🙂
Kimberly recently posted…Kids Were Here
Yes! I will be at BlogHer! I can’t wait to meet you in person!
I hear you. Laundry can wait. Dishes can wait. The blog beckons! I love my blog time too!
Michelle recently posted…How to Set Up a Google+ Hangout and Why You Should {Guest Post}
This morning was supposed to be my morning to do laundry and dishes and what am I doing instead? Blogging? 🙂
“Music helps me get through them. As do headstands.”
LOVE it! That is why I keep coming back here.
Single Mom in the South recently posted…Female Friendship
Aw! Thanks girl! I love a good headstand!
It can be tough to find that balance and trust me I know. I love that quote, ” Loneliness does not come from having no people around one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself.” I have sometimes had a houseful of people and still felt lonely and this finally makes sense.
Growing Up Madison recently posted…Sanus TV Mount Safety Giveaway
I love being able to communicate that things that are important to me. And I find I can’t automatically do that with everyone. The blog is my haven for this!
It’s more about expectations, isn’t it…. you can get through this bad moment because you know it will be over in a moment or three. That’s the beauty of yoga and buddhism and everything that preaches living in the moment. Be one with the mess for tomorrow it will be gone!
Deb @ Urban Moo Cow recently posted…Which Is More Important, Intelligence or Resilience?
The mess really isn’t a bad thing, is it? And the moment always passes, whether it’s a good moment or a not so good moment. So why not live for now? It’s so much better than living in the past or projecting the future, right?
Ilene, thank you for allowing me to bear witness to your life. This post speaks so clearly on a topic dear to my heart.
“I’ve grown to learn that we can live completely unbalanced lives, full of monkey wrenches and disappointments and heartbreak, and we can still be happy. We can have great days for absolutely no reason and we don’t have to use misfortune or things not going our way as an excuse to have bad ones.
We don’t have to let situations or people take us down.
We can prepare for really big life changes and not be afraid.”
I can only add a word of gratitude – for you have already used any other words I might have said.
Ginger Schneider recently posted…Vanilla Coffee Frost: RECIPE
Ginger, it’s so nice to meet you and I love your comment. I love that you get this and live this with me.
Beautiful Ilene! I definitely use blogging as therapy, it’s so great to see the highs and lows all in one beautiful notebook that happens to be a website. 🙂 Thank you so much for choosing to share with us!
Nellie @ Brooklyn Active Mama recently posted…Switching The Game Up With Jamie Eason Live Fit
Thanks, Nellie! I feel so grateful to have found blogging. It’s not quite as solitary as writing in that journal solely for myself!
I’m so glad that you write this blog. Your words always hit home. We can’t be afraid of change. Thank you for sharing your life with all of us! Beautiful.
Adrienne recently posted…Old School Blogging-The Crazy Five
And thank you for sharing your life with me. You know I love you and your message always hits that nerve for me too. xo
I LOVE this post and am so happy you have found and refused to let go of this tether to what keeps it real. xo
Meredith recently posted…The Beautiful, Beautiful Brew Conference
I’m holding on tight my friend! And well worth it! xo
Ilene! I’m finally catching up with your page and I love that I got to start with this particular post. I’ve always kept journals as well and there are times where I feel that maybe I should go back to writing these thoughts down instead of posting them publicly. But it’s good to remember the pleasure of simply putting them out there and you do that so beautifully each and every single time. Keep doing what you’re doing and we’ll be sure to follow along. 🙂
Maribel recently posted…There Once Was a Girl
I do both. Write in my journals still – the thoughts that are just for me – I sort through them and a lot of the sorted through ones are what become my blog posts! I love the private thoughts, and I love the ones I share as well. There is a place for them all, right?